Nothing left

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AriaLost, Nov 9, 2013.

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  1. AriaLost

    AriaLost New Member

    A month ago my husband walked out on me. I had no warning, he just said "I'm leaving." He took me out to dinner the week before and I asked if we could afford it since we wanted to move in to an appartment. He said "I'm working on it. I've got it covered" I thought he was talking about both of us leaving. He had saved up money while still spending my disability, so he left me with absolutely nothing. My grandfather gave us a car but the title is for my husband and only when he dies is it mine. We're getting a divorce.

    My whole life has been nothing but suffering. I was sexualy abused for 10 years by my stepfather. My mother did nothing.
    I developed a heart condition and I have congestive heart failure. I'm 23. I spend all of my time being depressed and wishing I could end it. I loved my husband more than anything in the world. I did everything I could to make him happy. I gave him all the affection I could. I was so sure we are soul mates.

    I've attempted suicide several times, and I really wish I had succeeded. I just don't want to hurt anymore. I'm tired of "it gets better" because it DOESN'T. It never will. Everytime I'm happy something destroys it. I wish my heart would just give out already.

    I'm lonely, and scared, and I just don't know what to do. I want to just get it over with. I'm tired of all the pain.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry for the difficult position you are in. Having CHF myself I understand well the issues is cause and the seeming uselessness of further effort. What I will say is I felt far more sure it was senseless to continue 5 years ago than I do now so that seemingly "what is the point" feeling can be wrong - for many years with CHF - and in those years you are a young and will have many opportunities to move past the pain of the recent break up .....

    Take Care and Be Safe

  3. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hey Aria
    Been here done this lost my dad spent crap load to be honest lost 300.000 yes it hurts it comes down too material shit and money isn't important ya own well being is.I learnt all this the hard way had many suicide attempts and downs.Yet I let life get to me so much I still suffer the effects all I can say is move on as its better than being bitter things with a price can be replaced and I know thts hard to hear.I have 4 kids and I literally have destroyed myself after a break up now I m regretting tht as ive become crook and l;ost the will and just spewing tht it all pans out
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun i know your grieving and the pain is deep right now butyou have to get yourself a lawyer ok and make sure you get half of everything ok do not let your husband walk away and leave you nothing you may not want to fight now but later you will regret it so you make sure you are given half of everything he is leaving you and you should not suffer even more loss ok hugs
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