A month ago my husband walked out on me. I had no warning, he just said "I'm leaving." He took me out to dinner the week before and I asked if we could afford it since we wanted to move in to an appartment. He said "I'm working on it. I've got it covered" I thought he was talking about both of us leaving. He had saved up money while still spending my disability, so he left me with absolutely nothing. My grandfather gave us a car but the title is for my husband and only when he dies is it mine. We're getting a divorce. My whole life has been nothing but suffering. I was sexualy abused for 10 years by my stepfather. My mother did nothing. I developed a heart condition and I have congestive heart failure. I'm 23. I spend all of my time being depressed and wishing I could end it. I loved my husband more than anything in the world. I did everything I could to make him happy. I gave him all the affection I could. I was so sure we are soul mates. I've attempted suicide several times, and I really wish I had succeeded. I just don't want to hurt anymore. I'm tired of "it gets better" because it DOESN'T. It never will. Everytime I'm happy something destroys it. I wish my heart would just give out already. I'm lonely, and scared, and I just don't know what to do. I want to just get it over with. I'm tired of all the pain.