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I haven't posted in a great while. I haven't been doing well at all. I really just...want to die. I don't want to live this life anymore. I just want to sleep, forever. IT's obvious that in this life I am not wanted.I have no friends anymore. The ones I did, I don't see.

I seen one friend today after a long time, and I guess you could say I really gelt that this person was a friend. Though..I decided to go again, because they didn't really care. That's okay. Everyone else leaves, I am not mad at them for leaving. But I did it this time, I left because they did fine without me, so I won't disturb their life anymore. Neither of them, actually.

I'm not going to talk to either of them anymore. But that's just on the internet, in real life, well I really am alone. Just nobody. I feel bad enough for that, and maybe if I focus enough on net life, I might just forget about all thisreality.

Reality is I'm alone. I'm so tired. I'm so sorry. I want to bleed, right now, I really do. I want to cry, but I can't. I don't even want to post here, I don't fit in. I don't fit in anywherem, and I don't think that anyone minds me not being there. Nobody ever has.

I've been self-centered enough in here...:(I'm leaving. I'm sorry....


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Don't be sorry, thats what we're here for..to lend an ear.
Sounds like you've been cutting yourself off from everyone, cn you talk about whats happening a bit more. Why you've isolated yourself and whats happening in your life? We might not be able to fix it but we can at least share the bad times with you.


I too have pushed all my friends away, its part of your depression. Personally I cant be bothered with it all so I simply dissuade them from visiting and tell my kids to tell them I'm out when they phone me, Its just too much effort. I understand completely. What you have to realise though is that they will only be put off for so long before they start to give up trying. This doesnt mean they dont care though, They do but, most people dont know how to handle the situation. One of my closest friends told my daughter that she didnt know what she had done but, for some reason she must have upset me! She hadnt of course It was all my fault, not hers.
The fact of the matter is that we push away those closest to us first:sad:
You are not alone Nothingleft, I know for one I am always here to help if I can even if I dont know you:smile: I also know that the majority of people on here feel the same way I do.:ok: Feel free to talk to me anytime you want either this way or through PM.
Take care Nothingleft, We're all here for you,

Love from Lea :flowers:


I didn't think that many people would reply. It's kind of strange.

I don't know, even though I came back, they didn't seem too thrilled, or anything. I didn't want them to be over-excited, just...anything over the normal hey and bye, I guess...nothing special.

I'm really sorry. Last night, I had a very bad night. I was just...in the end I cut again. A little deeper then usual. I felt ok after...but I just...am going to be alone for awhile. I'm just not fit for society....:( Thank you all for caring, and sorry for being a failure.

Lost Disciple

Well-Known Member
No, honestly, is that you Nikuyoku? If it's not, you're mirroring a situation a good friend of mine is in pretty well. If it is you, I'd like to talk...
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