I have had a really bad day. I went to my psychotherapy group earlier and I was scared, one woman was so aggressive it was horrible. I really needed to talk to someone but I just couldnt. I watched a programme last night about people who jump off the london bridges into the thames, i cried all the way through it, there was one guy who decided not to do it, they thought that meant he didnt want to die but as I watched it I felt so bad for him, the reason he didnt do it is because the strength which he had to be able to take that one last step left him, but the pain of wanting to die doesnt get any better it increases. Im sat here and Ive got these diazepam tablets and all I want to do is take the whole lot. Ive got nothing left to give, Ive dissappointed everybody i guess i just wanted someone to know that i did try.