Nothing left..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by black orchid, Feb 10, 2011.

  1. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    I can’t fight anymore, can’t live like this anymore, I guess they win but to be honest that stopped being the point a long time ago. Everything stems from something they have done or said, so I’ll give in and they can have what they want. There is only so much a person can deal with, everybody has to have a limit.

    Or maybe they are right, maybe i did deserve everything although what the fuck i did to deserve some of the things that i've seen and experienced i will never understand.

    Seeing one friend take his life that was unfortunate, seeing a second damn its hard but eventually life has to go on, when it came to a third there was no way of avoiding thinking I may be the cause. Reliving it day after day, waking up every day expecting to see the same sights, I just can’t do it anymore, I want to remember them like other people do, oblivious to the reality I have no choice but to accept.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2011
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    That is so sad, but know you did nothing to cause these ppl to be so much in pain...no you do not deserve the pain yourself...you are a good person who is supportive and kind...and sure, it does hurt a lot...big hugs
     
  3. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Thanks, just wish i could forget it all like the people around me seem to have done.
     
  4. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Dont even try to forget it, you wont,
    Sometimes love is letting go a little, maybe do that if you can.........
    Regards Pete. x
     
  5. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    I know i won't forget it, just like i can't forget any of the other things. :(

    Love certainly does make things a little easier overall and i wouldn't give it up for the world, problem is i have never really dealt with anything at all, just sort of put it to one side as much as possible and carried on, not feeling, no emotions no nothing as far as possible, as that was the only way i could stay around for the people who needed me. But now i have a hell of a lot of stuff to deal with all at once and i'm rapidly driving myself insane. :S Situation at home and with family isn't exactly helping either :/

    Sorry, i know i shouldn't really complain, my life has been a hell of a lot better than a lot of people on here
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2011
  6. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Guilt by association, oh how i love it :D
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: Don't ever apologize for posting. You didn't deserve any of the things that happened to you, and none of it was your fault. I don't know if there's any way you can deal with things one at a time, because trying to take it all on at once will be way too much for anyone to handle. You know where I'm at if you need anything.
     
  8. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    :hug: thanks, just not having a great day i guess
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2011
  9. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

  10. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    :hug: cheers Joshy :) i'd really be lost without Wayne, you and Alison
     
  11. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    just glad I can help..
     
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: Just remember we're not going anywhere.
     
  13. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    You mean I can't go to Nebraska?!?!
     
  14. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    OK OK, you can go to Nebraska, but no further! :p
     
  15. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  16. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    :hug: Hanne, thanks

    Josh if you run any further than Nebraska i will be forced to get on a plane and come and find you :p Or i could just ask Alison very nicely to do it for me as she is closer :D
     
  17. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  18. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Haha fun times, I get to hunt Josh down! :lol!:
     
  19. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    :lol!: well if Joshy is right and you are a secret ninja spy, you are going to be a hell of a lot better at it than me :D
     
  20. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Lol I think I'm just finding out I'm a secret ninja spy. It's not a secret anymore. :p