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hopeless13

Well-Known Member
#3
i have suffered from depression , spent 2 years in a hospital and
had electric shock treatments, i fought to get healty against all odds
i made it back from 3 suicide attempts to get my children back
it has been one struggle after another
my marriage is gone, he ended up serving time
my goal was to try to raise the children
i have done that. that is it now.
i did my work, there is nothing left for me
i am looking at 4 walls, comtempling taking my life
there is no future, its hurts, so much pain
i am tired of all the pain i just want it to go away
and dying is the only way out of this mess
i don't have the strenght to carry on like this anylonger.
i just want it over.
 
#4
your kids might be grown but they still need you. you are irreplaceable!
you fought back once, you can fight back again.
i get that you are tired, and who wouldn't be with everything you've been through. but it's not your time. don't give up now.
keep talking. keep sharing. let us help.
 

hopeless13

Well-Known Member
#5
i figure they can start their own life now without me, they are in university.
I can't take any medications, i fought for them
now i have nothing left to fight for
my life is gone, my work on earth is done
where am i going to find the strenght to do this again
my depression is so bad i can't do anything
i lost my brother to suicide too, its heriedy, my mom had it too
i drive to a cemetary so I can try to be closer to him
where it is quiet, sometimes i take my pills with me
i can't do this much longer
 
#7
i figure they can start their own life now without me, they are in university.
I can't take any medications, i fought for them
now i have nothing left to fight for
my life is gone, my work on earth is done
where am i going to find the strenght to do this again
my depression is so bad i can't do anything
i lost my brother to suicide too, its heriedy, my mom had it too
i drive to a cemetary so I can try to be closer to him
where it is quiet, sometimes i take my pills with me
i can't do this much longer
You sound like my mother when my little sister went on to college and I was graduating (w/my completely worthless AA in effin liberal arts).

She now parties? Maybe you could do what she did and get a mustang and make a bunch of friends, a younger boyfriend and have fun?

Or get a pet?

What you are going through, I think it's called empty nest syndrome. You should see if there are any online support groups for that specifically. I don't really know if a bunch of emo teenagers are the right support you need!
 

hopeless13

Well-Known Member
#8
i don't see any choices there is no going back to change things
there is no going forward there is nothing to go forward to
i am plain tired, i can't re start all over again
i can't fight this this time i'm tired.
 
#10
i don't see any choices there is no going back to change things
there is no going forward there is nothing to go forward to
i am plain tired, i can't re start all over again
i can't fight this this time i'm tired.
i know what it's like to be that tired. to feel that you have no choices. when the pain is so great that you see only one way out. i can really empathize with what you are going through. i've also survived multiple attempts. and if you have kids in uni i think we're prob around the same age (i'm 45).

for now i would encourage you to keep posting. keep writing and sharing with us and let us support you. you don't have to carry this alone anymore. you have us.
 

hopeless13

Well-Known Member
#11
ha ha who are you calling a teenager/?
TO 13FULLMOON: what difference does it make if anyone on here tht is
giving support is a teenager!!!!!!
it doesn't. you think i care, i'm about to say f.... it all , and leave this world
if a teenager, middle age person or older person can help out , what do I care
i say good for them for trying
good for them for being on here for support for people that are going thorugh
rough times.
the age don't matter, us killing ourselves does
so any age can help
you know, it is remarks like that , that will put people closer to the edge
any closer and I am gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

undercoverlover

both dead and alive until somebody opens the box
#12
I hope things get better. You're in my thoughts. <3

Trust me, things WILL get better. Stay with us, call a helpline, just do what you can to keep yourself alive. :hug:


@13fullmoon: Emo teenagers? There are people who are even over SIXTY who are here. 60 doesn't sound like teenagers. In fact, there are several here who are suffering from empty nest syndrome. I find it extremely offensive that you would tell her to find another site so she doesn't get support from "emo teenagers." I'm not emo, I'm just suffering from several disorders like depression. And there are MANY people who commit suicide who aren't "emo teenagers." Overall, I've found this site extremely helpful, and I wouldn't want to see anyone leave. I've gotten very comfortable here, and I would welcome anyone to do the same.
 

hopeless13

Well-Known Member
#13
wow undercoverlover, u may have given me some more time to live
don't know how long i will live for
but thank you for your kind words and for your reply to 13fullmoon
as soon as i read that comment to me, i now have my pills by my
computor. i thought after read it, even this one is making fun of me
they don't even know me, i am hurting and from a lot more than
kids in university, i have had my brother and a my sons freind
kill themselves, i just had someone at christmas take their live
i have nothing left, nothig and nothing left to give
financialy i am ruined, i can't work so there is a whole lot
of overwhelming situations here, i am sitting here crying, alone
and so cliose to ending this pain.
 
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