I'm still alive--simply because I am too afraid of physical pain to try anything. None of the painless methods I've tried have worked, either because the method failed or because I chickened out. But here's the thing--life's pain is quickly outweighing my fear of temporary physical pain. I can barely stand living through each day. It just seems like the closer I come to suicide, the less I can handle even the smallest pressures in life. I can no longer see the future. I still go through the motions, getting dressed, going to work, making a budget, and even starting a 401K, but those are all just a backup plan at this point. I just don't have anything left.