i see you sitting there in your chair without a clue of the truth we're friends but you don't know you can't even see you look right through me only seeing what you want to see never seeing what is real. it's a shame, isn't it? that i am not real that this is not me that you will never know that everything is wrong and yet i don't have a clue what's wrong it's all so messy and i don't know how to sort through the junk that consumes my life does it really matter what i do? will it make a difference if i try so hard till i can't breathe anymore? will it make a difference? will you ever notice? do you even know what i am speaking of? do i even know...? that's the question, isn't it. perhaps this is all bullshit but it's not i am confused but it doesn't even matter because everyone's lost sometimes somehow but i am backwards and inside out and what if i am never ever right again? what will i do then? can i live like this? this way every single day with everything so twisted up inside and i can't tell you cuz you wouldn't believe me cuz this makes no sense cuz things should be right and the confusion should fade away but this is not what happens and you don't know and i don't know and none of this matters anymore.