I used to enjoy doing a lot of different activities. Now I enjoy nothing. I don't get excited about anything. Anything I do just seems to turn into crap. Anything I say is wrong. Been like this for years. Im not allowed to see my kids and it doesn't even bother me. Is that normal? First time I tried to kill myself was 12 years ago. Been on many medications since then. I never noticed a difference but anyone else told me I was better. I never felt better. Last time I tried was a couple weeks ago. I wish she would have left me in the garage. Im just so tired, of everything. All I ever hear is that suicide is completely selfish on my part. Why? Isn't it more selfish of everyone else to keep me doing something that I don't want to?