Nothing seems to work for me and my collapsing mental health

PrincessPure

Well-Known Member
#1
I am open to any advice or idea.

So I have an anxiety, and a really REALLY bad hypochondria. Every once in a while I am convinced that I have cancer. Last year, I thought that I had breast cancer in September because my breasts were hurting a bit, so I took an appointment for an ultrasound and the doctor was so busy that she set the date for January 2021. You can not imagine what I went through those months. I was completely freaked and would spend lots of money to get myself to feel better. When my birthday came around, 12th of December, the anxiety became even worse and I developed a horrible back pain (How lucky I am spending my birthday like that...). Now I thought this could be bone cancer, leukemia, or anything else. I went to a lot of doctors and took so many tests. They all said my pain was psychosomatic, one said I should try yoga (and he was right tbh). Yoga did help me get rid of pain, but I also went to a psychiatrist. He gave me a sh*t load of medication.
But the side effects were HORRIBLE. I was sleeping 15 hours a day or more and was constipated. I gave up on meds and tried psychoanalysis sessions with him. I went for months and saw no results and gave up.
In spring and summer I tried going to a therapist but she drove me kind of crazy because helpful as she was trying to be, some of the stuff she said were so uneducated. I gave up on therapy. This year in late August/early September I decided to study for medical school entrance exam because I dislike my current major. Tbh, it is going extremely well. I used to think that I was stupid but I realized that I easily comprehend the materials actually and I enjoy it so much. However I was EXTREMELY stressed out about the entrance exam which is in September 2022 so it ain't normal to be this anxious already. I took an IELTS exam (International English Language Testing System), a test that non-natives take when they are applying for a foreign country. I was straight awake the whole night and even though I took sleep medication, I couldn't sleep out of stress. I was really mad at myself. I went to another psychiatrist soon as I took IELTS. She prescribed Serteraline and my anxiety was almost completely gone until I started having weird dreams and constipation again. I told her about it but she said she can't change the medicine because it worked well on my anxiety. Yes it did, but I have a severe hypochondria and the constipation is freaking me out. I can't live this way. I started taking laxatives but I can't depend on them forever. Already freaking about my bowel becoming lazy. I recently decided to stop taking medication forever. It never seems to work for me, or if it does, the side effects freak me out. These are affecting my life and the fear interferes with my studies. Today is my birthday and I am sitting here again sighing while thinking about my mental health. I don't think I have had a birthday which I really enjoyed for years. I'm really sick of this and I am worried the anxiety will affect me on my medical school entrance exam day.
 

LonelyHiker

Incidental aka FairWeather™
SF Supporter
#2
First of all, happy birthday 🎂 🎉 I hope, despite the struggles you're facing, that it's a good day and that treat yourself to something nice.

I wish I had some good advice for you. I gave up on meds and therapy years ago, and now rely on self care and OTC nutritional supplements like fish oil, probiotics, L-Theanine, etc. Staying physically active helps (hiking), exploring new films, that kind of thing.
 

PrincessPure

Well-Known Member
#4
First of all, happy birthday 🎂 🎉 I hope, despite the struggles you're facing, that it's a good day and that treat yourself to something nice.

I wish I had some good advice for you. I gave up on meds and therapy years ago, and now rely on self care and OTC nutritional supplements like fish oil, probiotics, L-Theanine, etc. Staying physically active helps (hiking), exploring new films, that kind of thing.
Thanks a lot, it's refreshing to hear someone trying to heal their own way and without medication. Is it helpful??? I know I prolly have some vitamin B12 and folic acid deficiency. How did you exactly start that? Did you have a guide?
 

PrincessPure

Well-Known Member
#5
Sorry that you haven't found a good treatment yet. The information in these two links might help:

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

Self-Treatment and Miscellaneous


I wish you were having a happier birthday

Are you still practicing yoga?
Thanks for the links, I will read them both carefully. Actually, my yoga teacher got mad at me for something and I didn't go back. However it was a really good idea and many of my pains for which I went to so many doctors and thought that I have a horrible illness were treated in max two weeks. I'd start over in another gym but the pandemic kinda freaks me...
 

LonelyHiker

Incidental aka FairWeather™
SF Supporter
#6
Thanks a lot, it's refreshing to hear someone trying to heal their own way and without medication. Is it helpful??? I know I prolly have some vitamin B12 and folic acid deficiency. How did you exactly start that? Did you have a guide?
I did some research and also spoke to a few friends who I knew were into nutrition. As far as if they help, I know they certainly aren't hurting! I was already taking a multivitamin and simply started adding additional things to my regimen. I may switch to plant based omega-3 supplement due to the impact that traditional fish oil production is having on the environment.
 

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