I was diagnosed and medicated for depression when I was 10 or 11. For the past 5 or 6 years, I've been trying to suppress blatant feelings of homosexuality. Never really had many friends in school. The ones I did have, I could never confide in. They'd just laugh at me. College was different. Man I was the shit, I was popular; but I was still in the closet, and still wanted to jump off the top of my dormitory. Like the genius that I am. I dropped the councilor I had worked up the courage to see for all of 3 sessions. (He had looked at me as some sort of achievement to conquer, rather then a person to help.) Instead of finding a new one, I found alcohol. So naturally, I partied hard. I was out three, four, sometimes five days a week. Just trying to forget about how much of a queer I am, and how much of a loser I really am, that these people, my "Friends" Don't know. So I failed out my first semester. I appealed, same thing happened the next semester anyways. I didn't learn anything, I'm an idiot. The worst part is. I'm not a rich kid. So I'm paying for it, not my parents. (Hell, they wouldn't of paid for it even if they wanted to or could.) Oh well, right? Just another step down the tragedy of my life. So, I'm out of school. I'm Sheetrock taping for a living now. I get up at about 5:30AM, and I can be out till 8Pm tops. I like to spend my leisure time playing X-Box live in my underwear, 'cause that's how much of a cool cat I am. I don't see my "friends" much anymore. I'm afraid I'm going to be alone again. Guess it's not really that big a deal, I've always been alone. Nothing new to me. I don't want to be alone anymore. It's worse now more then ever.