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nothing to do.

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I'm in treatment and I started cutting again because i hate it here and want to be free and live life. but in here all i want to do is die. why can't my dream come true once and for all

Sa Palomera

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry to hear this DarkBeauty. Can I ask what your dream is? Maybe in the future it IS possible to reach it?

If you want to talk feel free to drop me a PM :hug:

Ester x


Active Member
Try to live day-by-day. Maybe something new and spontaneous will pop up one day.

If you want to talk, you can PM me anytime.
Bad way. Totally. Guess what, just about everyone around you from the guy bagging your groceries, the girl sitting across from you on the bus, the dude walking his dog are all waiting for something new and spontaneous to pop up, but it never happens for them because they don't do something about it. The majority of people today are too afraid and shy to do anything because they don't want to upset the natural order of things and make themselves look like freaks, or bring attention to themselves. Those who have great things, or become great never worried about that sort of thing. They stood in front of people and did what they wanted with or without approval. Elvis was a controversial musician for his lyrics and dance moves and most people wanted him banned from tv and the music scene, but there were those who admired his balls to stand up and rattle the cages. Thats how he became great and the pattern fits for others who became great. Or at the very least, for those who live with something to look forward to.

The more you sit around hoping for change, the more things stay the same. That's what I've learned. Live day by day. But if you want something new to happen, you've gotta make it happen. Nothing ever comes to you.
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Active Member
Kugatsu, this post of your was REALLY very good. food for thought. because i am in exactly the same state of mind - like what agonisng life said. just live day by day. But i also used to know this that I have to DO somehting to make things change. but the IMPORTANT thing is - how long will you keep trying and where do you have to stop. i HAVE tried. honestly, believe me. but i cant try any further because trying is dificult. and it mght cost you a lot. so now again i am in the state of waiting. what else can i do ?


Active Member
Not wait. But hey, if waiting is what you want to do, then go ahead and do that. Just don't expect anything to fall on your lap. That stale feeling that is always encroaching on you day after day won't leave the longer you sit there waiting. Be with friends, whoever will have you, go outside yourself to the closest center of human gathering. If you can't rattle the cages of the world, rattle the cages of your life at least. What your doing now isn't working. Do something to make it work.


Active Member
hi Kugatsu, I really really thought a lot about what u have written. when u wrote these lines u migt have never thought that they will effect so much to someone sitting in one corner of the world. its really amazing, i dont even know from where u are neither have i ever met you, still i started thinking so much about what u wrote and i cud relate it to my situation so very much.

because i was exactly in the mindset that agonising life said - spend day-by-day and wait for something to happen. and then next thing i read your post aboutdoing something. i had EXACTLY thought like that...but before i decided to wait......only after having done what i can, i have decided to wait...... i had done that and now what can i do ? i really .......well u tell me waht to do,.....can u explain. i have sent a pm.

the important point here is that wheni say i am waiting doesnt mean that thats the ONLY thing i am doigng. i know i have to keep myself happy, involve myself in human gatherings,friends etc. and i surely doingall that...but i also want to wait. to get what i want. i will not expect any miracle. but i will wait....
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