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Nothing Works

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Mar 25, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Nothing is working for me. Anything I try makes things worse. I don't know why I am bothering.

    I don't want to go on anymore. I understand that it is probably not right for me to be doing what I am doing while I have thoughts like I do and with the self harm. They keep making the self harm out to be really bad. I don't see blood letting as that bad. I chose that method as I thought it was not as bad. To me it's not. But I have people freaking out about it. It sent Nurseman Mike in to a tizzy and seems as though I have been freaking out others with it. I see it as better than cutting as I am not mutilating myself which is what happens when I cut. I really want to cut now.

    I don't want to be alive anymore. I want to go to sleep forever. I go to bed each night praying (not that I believe in God) to not wake up.

    I am so sick of life. If I was an animal I would be put down so why not have some humanity and let me go.

    I have no fight left. I need to find a method now that I can work with.
  2. Please try to hang on.. I know it's hard for you to hang on but please keep hanging on.. Don't self-harm and don't find methods of suicide please..! we need you here.. :hug:
  3. carter001

    carter001 Active Member

    You are a good person,you deserve to live.Everyone here cares about you.I know you are in a dark place but just hang on,things do get better.Suicide is not the answer.
  4. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni


    I'm so sorry things are so tough.. I've been reading your messages here but haven't really had the words or energy to reply properly.. but I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hope you'll continue reaching out for help and support.

    Jenny xx
  5. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I can't see the point in reaching out and getting support it has had nothing but negative consequences. So what is the point. I don't know how long it will be before i do finally go. It may only be days but it could be weeks or months. I'm just going to find the right method now. I can't see the point in getting help as that will only make it worse. I've got to go to uni on monday and i can't see a waY that they are going to let me continue on placement when have made recent-ish suicide attempts. I wouldn't if i was them. I had an inclin this situation would send me in to breakdown. The only way i can see me coming out of this is if uni turn round and say if you think you're ok then ok. But they wont. The only other way out is by death. I'm getting more and more unstable as days go on. I don't really know what to do with myself anymore. Going to let and blow tonight. That may work. Probably not though. But maybe. Hopefully.
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