Nothing is working for me. Anything I try makes things worse. I don't know why I am bothering. I don't want to go on anymore. I understand that it is probably not right for me to be doing what I am doing while I have thoughts like I do and with the self harm. They keep making the self harm out to be really bad. I don't see blood letting as that bad. I chose that method as I thought it was not as bad. To me it's not. But I have people freaking out about it. It sent Nurseman Mike in to a tizzy and seems as though I have been freaking out others with it. I see it as better than cutting as I am not mutilating myself which is what happens when I cut. I really want to cut now. I don't want to be alive anymore. I want to go to sleep forever. I go to bed each night praying (not that I believe in God) to not wake up. I am so sick of life. If I was an animal I would be put down so why not have some humanity and let me go. I have no fight left. I need to find a method now that I can work with.