Nothing

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Vitreledonellidae, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    I feel like bursting out in tears, but I cant cry. I just want to be dead. Been wasting everyones time enough now. Especially my time.
    There is this party at my neighbours place. Just realising I've wasted my years with selfharm, eating disorders, making crappy drawings, avoiding things etc. Never went out, never went to a party, ignoring, avoiding people, no friends, no love. I've always been treated like an adult, but I'm still just a fucking baby.
    This isnt a life and I dont want to go on with this. Dont want to waste more time, dont want to fuck up more. Why cant people see that I just make everything worser for them? Why cant they see that dead is the perfect solution for me?
    No hope, no love, nothing. I've tried almost eveything I can do, nothing helped, nothing will help. I just want to be dead :sad:
     
  2. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Dear Mom and Dad,
    I'm sorry that I have to do this. I'm sorry that I promised to do it never again, but I already did it 4 times past week, but just on places you will never see. I need to do it on my arm now. I'm sorry, that I also took to many pills, but dont worry, I'll be fine. I wont ruin your vacation, tho I probly will when you will find out about what I did. I'm sorry for letting you down, for fucking things up, for not being who you want me to be, for all the mistakes I make, time and time again. I just need to let it out, I need to cut my wrist.
    Dont worry, I'll be fine
     
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Hun,
    Listen, I never went to a party, barely go out, etc. and I'm 27, that does not make you or I a bad person. It makes you not like every other person in the world. I believe you have friends even if they are online, they are people that love you very much. You aren't wasting my time that's for sure. You don't make things worse for me that's for sure. I don't think that dead is the solution for you, i think getting help for the problems that youhave will help you feel better. Love you sweetie..know that and if oyu need to talk i am here.
     
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Hey again, have to reply to both. You are not a fuck up at all. You have problems that you just need to work out and want to work out. So what you have made mistakes as I'm sure you know your parents have too. People make mistakes it makes them humans..no one is perfect..no one will ever be perfect. I hope you work things out sweetie because you deserve happiness...i hope you are okay
    Love you to bits