nothing

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lost_child, Jun 25, 2008.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I've no enthisuam for life, nothing. i don't even care. i walk the streets feeling nothing. like watching a movie i'm here but i'm not its someone else. i won't take my tablets anymore. i've stopped counselling. i've stopped answering messages and the phone. i'm just waiting. waiting for my life to end. i don't want support. i don't want care. i don't even want to get better. the only thing I was is for someone to give me someway to end this life. inject air into my veins, probably wouldn't work. an overdose doesn't seem to work, obv the wrong tabs. won't ruin another persons life by jumping in front of a train. there's the bridge but that would prob just put me in a wheelchair or a vegative state. what else is there.
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Lost Child I feel for you. what has brought you to this place in life? As far as waiting to die I've been trying that for years. It didn't do any good I'm still here.
    Can you talk about what has brought you here to this way of thinking? Please don't harm yourself. You need to get back on your meds and tell the doctor they aren't helping. He will probably want you to go in the hospital so they can find the right combination of meds. Don't be afraid they won't harm you. Just be honest with them as far as meds that work and meds that don't work.
    I am pulling for you! We have traveled similar paths. You still have a full life to live. There is alot to see. I got to see alot when I was younger. I have been to France, Germany, Okinawa, Phillipines, and Mexico. I also hitchhiked across the United States. So I have had some good times even though I was hurting inside.
    When I was in the service they sent me to a shrink and he put me on thorazine. Every one says it will make you a vegitable. It never did anything for me one way or another. well keep posting so we know you are o.k...:chopper:
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    What else is there? Talking to friends, receiving quality care, finding something that can break through the darkness (it varies for each person)...for me it was one of my dear friends reminding me that I am the 'auntie' of her children and it would injure them so much if I left...please see if anything can touch your spirit, and PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, J
     
  4. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I don't know what has brought me here, so down. I've nothing. I have neices and nephews but they don't see me. In real "time" i've 2 friends. one being my flat mate who i feel just walks all over me. the other just says oh well, there are no other friends cause i've pushed them away. they can't stand that i can switch at any time, they don't like me. I'm meant to be seeing the shrink tomorrow..he will say,how are you? i'll say crap, he'll say and how can we help..I don't know, i don't know what i need, what i want. see how useless i am.
     
  5. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    Heya,

    It is ok to feel like this you have yet to push me away but I know that this is not the same thing.

    What about your Godchild? Try and see her as often as possible. You have to live for her. what happens if tomo or next week her parents are involved in a fatal accident and you have t look after her...what would happen then if you were dead your self. Do not let her down.

    Always here for you.

    Sam
    x
     
  6. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    She has loving parents, she has better godparents, she has an older sister, an aunt, she has so much family that i'm not going to make any difference to her. I won't. it will be the same as everything, it will turn out wrong. she's better off without me in her life.

    USELESS. i've had enough. i'm ready, more ready then ever to just lay down and die. be over with. there's no reason to continue this life.
     
  7. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    You will mean something to her. You were really exited once before when she born.

    She will wonder wen she is older why you have given up on her. Please do not do this to me either. If it has to be...live for me. Hate me for the rest of your life but live for me and your god child and her parents.

    Sam
    x
     
  8. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I can't. people shouldn't cry or be angry at a loss, ur might to remember the life that was, not how life will be without. I've spent the afternoon crying for no reason, listening to music and holding a mixture of pills. everything is dark. i started taken them, i stopped i smoked a fag, i'm having a coffee and coke. i don't know how to do this. all hope has gone. nothing left. deflated. gone.
     
  9. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    How many did you take? please do not take any more. I am rreally glad u stopped. Why you not text me b4 u started taking them?

    Sam
    x

    Oh sweetheart please be safe.
     
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