I didnt have the courage to jump. That time i first lost myself. Now, months on, i am in the same place in my mind. I want to leave this life. I dont see it being beautiful and sweet, i see life as a curse that my parents condemned me to death the moment i was concieved. I feel like i have disapointed my father. Disapointed my mother. My family hate me. I have no family. I go to work. Temping atm. Just trying to save some money to move out. But if i get a job permanant job, i wont be able to afford any holidays. Im not skilled enough for a well paid job. So im stuck in the bottom. Im in a long distance relationship atm. But im frightened. Frightened he will leave me. Im afraid he thinks me a failure too. Because im just nothing in the end.