I haven't felt this low, this worthless and undeserving of life in a while. Today I put on a mini skirt and walked through the forrest, to see what would happen. Nothing happened. On the way back I crossed a street and just stared at the car that was coming my way. I was mad at myself when I dragged myself away from the road. "so you do feel Like you should live? You do feel like you deserve to walk on the side walk instead of the highway with cars coming your way?" I feel as if everything, absolutely everything is a waste on me. The clothes I wear, the bed I sleep in, the food I eat, is all worth more than me. I feel my clothes and watch burning my skin and feel them dragging me down as if they are heavier and simply worth more than me. My self worth is none existent. I talk to a therapist already and nothing anyone says gets trough to me and makes me feel worthy all of the sudden. I don't feel as if I can talk to anyone at all. Not even the therapist. I don't allow myself to breathe or to talk. i look at Myself in the mirror and my reflection says " I can't do whatever I want with you" It hurts to feel like nothing but I feel as if I need to punish myself.