I would rather be dead than alive. The only reason I stay alive is to not hurt my mom. If it wasn't for her I would have died a long time ago. She is the only person in the world. I don't have any true friends, no one. I have hobbies and I do things that keep me busy, but i don't get nothing out of it. I do things for no reason, i don't have any will, any hope, any faith. I'm feel ostracized, like a loser, a worthless piece of shit. i feel like scum. I hate being alive. I don't want to anymore.