Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kaboodles22, Apr 30, 2008.

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  1. kaboodles22

    kaboodles22 Member

    I want to die... but technically I guess I don't.. because I'm on a suicide forum seeking help. I just want to not feel suicidal and unhappy anymore. I hate life, I hate myself, and if there was sure way to die, I would. I want to be okay :sad: but i don't know how
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...most ppl do not want to die, per se...they want the pain to go away...then the real question is how to enlist your resources to reduce the pain...for me it has been talk therapy, medication and the love of my friends, not especially in that order...big hugs, J
  3. tarzan

    tarzan Member

    ofcourse u dont want do die!:tongue: u want to live and live happily for centuries!:tongue:

    good luck!:tongue:
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi kaboodles, and welcome.

    that feeling you describe - i know it well. i'm glad you found us. you will find many people here who will understand your feelings and can empathize.

    i hate to state the obvious, but is it possible you are suffering from depression? i say this because it is possible to recover from depression, given time, resources, and plenty of hard work.
  5. kaboodles22

    kaboodles22 Member

    i've been diagnosed with depression.. and perhaps thats part of it.. but im 99.9% sure i have BPD.. but no doctor wans to diagnose that. I have all the symptoms
  6. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Hey there,

    Firstly I'm glad you see that you don't want to die, but want to feel better. That's the first step :hug:
    I"m not gonna lie to you; the road towards feeling better is long and hard, but in the end it's worth it. At least in my opinion :smile:
    You can use this place to vent and seek advice and you can contact the Samaritans as well, who can listen :yes:
    Other than that there's always professional counselling, which might be worth looking into as it can really help. I know it helped me a lot!
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    me too... as in diagnosed with depression... but I 100% fit all the characteristics of BPD. i'd always put it down to being a scorpio (go off the deep end in relationships) but when i saw BPD described right away I knew. so, are you getting some help with the depression?
  8. kaboodles22

    kaboodles22 Member

    I suck at getting help, at asking for it.. and at telling people my feelings. I tried counselling.. but I just couldn't seem to open it and tell the counsellor everything that was going on. And no doctor ever listens.. cause they are too busy. They put me on an anti-depressant too.. but it doesn't help all that much. Everytime I read something about BPD.. it scares me.. because i know it's me.. I just can't get the help.
  9. brokenandlonely

    brokenandlonely Well-Known Member

    kaboodles, I am in the same boat that you are as well which is why after a couple of months of reading the postings that have been done here from the others I have decided to recently write my own and to be able to seek any help that is needed in order to make a change. I have come from a household that talking about our emotions and the way we feel frowned upon. I have felt distanced from my family for quite a while and when I do open up and try to talk about my feelings they feel as though I'm going crazy and out of my mind which is why I have shut myself off. After going through undiagnosed depression, anxiety and my OCD I felt that if I make a really hard effort at trying to get some help that I might be able to get rid of this awful feeling that is getting to me enjoying my life and the activities that I once enjoyed and hopefully giving me the energy that I need. I do have to say that I have been reading for a while and there are a few methods and medications that are available which is a trial and error case I have to say. All I think that needs to be done is trying a method that you find that works best for you and it might not be just one but two at a time. For example, seeing a phych taking anti-depressants and going through a group therapy. Don't give up as most of us are here because we want to get the help and are here to help each other through some rough times in our lives. If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me at anytime.
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