I Don't really know what's going on in my head ever since I started therapy. I can't tell my therapist anything I just automatically lie about it. I can't tell him how badly I want to sh. I can't tell him about what I think are hallucinations. I can't tell him of how I hate everyone. I can't tell him of how I want to end all of this. I just can't do it. I'm recognising specific stuff that I do now which may seem good to everyone else but it's making me feel so much worse. I thought that this would be good for me but it's not. I don't even know why I'm in therapy. My doctor hasn't said anything. No one actually cares. I don't even care. No one would miss me. I've gotten rid of everything I ever used to sh. It would be so easy for me to get it all back.