I have been told my whole lifei do nothing right. I don't dress right. I don't learn right. I don't fall for the right person. I just wish for once my mom would accept me for me. She constantly compars me to my older sister. I can't stand that she is little mrs perfect and that I am the mess up. I hate myself. Nobody can tell by looking at me that I am dead inside. I am so sick of being me. Why did I have to be born such a mess up. Maybe then my mom would stop putting me down. Maybe then my dad would love me. Maybe ten I could love myself. It's been years since I have liked myself. I diet to feel better about my appearance but it dosnt change how I feel inside. I don't sleep cuz I have horrible nightmares. I am at my wits end. I don't wanna feel like I am a burden anymore. I don't know what to do. I want to run away and see who notices. Nobody at school would miss me. Nobody at home would care. I am so sick of being put down for who I am and how I act. It's upsetting that I am not heard at home and when I am heard at school I get bullied. I am so done. I have anger that's so built up I just can't control it anymore. Somedays I wanna scream and somedaysvi fantisize about hurting people. It's terrifying that I am capable if such thoughts. I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt anyone. I am scared to be home alone. When I am home with my mom all I want to do is leave. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to live like this anymore. Not till I am 18 in 3 years. I ant take another day.