Hi all
This is painful to talk about. This will be the first time I have really discussed it. A week ago I attempted suicide. i drove to a quiet street in the middle of nowhere. But I couldnt do it. I couldnt start the car. I sat there for ages. Eventually I decided I just need to talk to someone so I called Life Line. Although I said I was not going to do it and that I just wanted to talk they called the cops. I did not give them any information as to where I was - I didnt even know - or what kind of car I had but they some how traced my phone. Anyway just when I was feeling a bit better and was about to drive home the cops show up and rip open my doors and take my keys. They go through all my stuff and find the hose and everything. They were pretty rude about it saying that they would rather be at home then doing this shit and everything, though I said I didnt call them and didnt need any help. They took me to the psych ward where I was locked up. A nurse asked me a few questions, but I refused to answer them until I had a legal representative with me. She laughed, threw a yellow pages on that table and said good luck. I found a legal aid number but as they had taken my phone I couldnt call. After this they gave me a pamphlet stating my rights. I saw on it that I was allowed to request an allied person to help me. I asked them repeatedly to give me one but they didnt. Eventually they gave me a phone number to call but it was disconnected.
I gave up and just sat on the floor having panic attacks for 12 hours until morning - no one trued to help, but eventually they told me to go to the ward cause they needed the interview room. They didnt give me my medication so I was just feeling sick all the time. Didnt eat or sleep a wink because I was just so scared. Eventually I saw a doctor and just lied my way out.
Ever since then I have been having nightmares and panic attacks and feeling very dizzy and nausea. I am increasingly paranoid and cannot function at work. I even think they may be monitoring my post here. I feel my rights as a human and a citizen have been violated and I feel I am now considered a worthless piece of shit, like I am of a lower caste. I may attempt again, but this time will not call for help. It going to be a tough few days rebuilding any confidence. I definitely will not seek help from anyone
This is painful to talk about. This will be the first time I have really discussed it. A week ago I attempted suicide. i drove to a quiet street in the middle of nowhere. But I couldnt do it. I couldnt start the car. I sat there for ages. Eventually I decided I just need to talk to someone so I called Life Line. Although I said I was not going to do it and that I just wanted to talk they called the cops. I did not give them any information as to where I was - I didnt even know - or what kind of car I had but they some how traced my phone. Anyway just when I was feeling a bit better and was about to drive home the cops show up and rip open my doors and take my keys. They go through all my stuff and find the hose and everything. They were pretty rude about it saying that they would rather be at home then doing this shit and everything, though I said I didnt call them and didnt need any help. They took me to the psych ward where I was locked up. A nurse asked me a few questions, but I refused to answer them until I had a legal representative with me. She laughed, threw a yellow pages on that table and said good luck. I found a legal aid number but as they had taken my phone I couldnt call. After this they gave me a pamphlet stating my rights. I saw on it that I was allowed to request an allied person to help me. I asked them repeatedly to give me one but they didnt. Eventually they gave me a phone number to call but it was disconnected.
I gave up and just sat on the floor having panic attacks for 12 hours until morning - no one trued to help, but eventually they told me to go to the ward cause they needed the interview room. They didnt give me my medication so I was just feeling sick all the time. Didnt eat or sleep a wink because I was just so scared. Eventually I saw a doctor and just lied my way out.
Ever since then I have been having nightmares and panic attacks and feeling very dizzy and nausea. I am increasingly paranoid and cannot function at work. I even think they may be monitoring my post here. I feel my rights as a human and a citizen have been violated and I feel I am now considered a worthless piece of shit, like I am of a lower caste. I may attempt again, but this time will not call for help. It going to be a tough few days rebuilding any confidence. I definitely will not seek help from anyone
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