I wasn't feeling suicidal today. My expiration date is currently set for June 6th. I was laying here with my head spinning watching Young & The Restless and my doorbell rung. There was a police car outside and I opened the door to a police officer. In a soft voice (even though I have the international symbol of hearing impaired on the door) he asked, "Are you Miss_____". I affirmed and he went on to ask if I called and left a message for someone saying I was going to hurt myself today. I just gave him a cockeyed look. He went on to explain that that person called the police to come and check on me and therefore, this person cares about me. Apparently I am a fool. I have made no calls today, my ears are hurting more and I can't wear my headset, therefore, no calls. Yesterday, I left a message for my specialist asking if there is a new cure or a treatment to call me and if not I would no longer require the doctor's services as I would be expiring on June 6th. The other call I made was to my psychologist who wanted to know why I cancelled all my remaining appointments. I advised I would be expiring on June 6th and therefore no longer needed his services. I never said I was going to hurt myself today. A second officer showed up and the two of them decided to compare me and my chronic illness to their father and wife who have chronic illnesses. One whose wife has a chronic illness decided to blame me for the way I am feeling and both insisted that they care about me when in actuality they were just earning their pay. I accidentally found this forum and decided to give it the next two week and try to figure things out. I know I will probably be banned after posting this but I don't know where else to turn. All other options cost money I don't have. I feel humiliated and not listened to. I am sorry for being such a downer.