Now I seriously don't know how much longer.

[ace]

With pretty much all hope gone inside of me I don't know how much longer these is left.The fact as I have been for so many years or when I look back at it all my life lived a useless,worthless existence my departure is inevitable.All I can say I know it's going to be anytime really,it's the best outcome really to just hang around for no reason and constant suffering is just really pointless.

For all of you out there I really wish you the best ever possible and hope as much as anything your terrible pain goes away.To everyone else down the years I'm deeply sorry as being so fucked up what else do you expect from someone(endless amounts of people out there I've been an annoyance to).Yes that's all I've ever been a constant annoying pain in the arse,can't live with this shocking hell anymore just can't.

 

[Perfect Melancholy]

Hi Ace, what makes you think all hope has gone, can I ask what has triggered this? I know things can get pretty hard and you think your a burden on people that your better of dead, believe me you are not, please be gentle on yourself, and I am sure we can work through this.

Rich

 

[Forgotten_Man]

Sometimes we do not see hope because we do not want too. Time on this forum is irrelevant. I am sure there are people on here who are happy and not suicidal.

Sometimes we only look back and see our mistakes, but do not learn from them. Do not let That happen to you.

 

[Dave_N]

Please don't give up ace. Depression is not a death sentence. :hug:

 

[ace]

Everything really all my conditions are that bad now as they've been for such a long time,I've struggled like hell improving on anything,I've come to the conclusion I'm better off dead for many reasons.I'm nothing and I'll never become anything because I'm so fucked up,constantly depressed 24/7 and just existing really if anyone lived in my mind/body they would end it asap.Now these days all that I can think of is how soon I just want to be gone,it's just pointless hanging around.

 

[Marty482]

Hi Ace,

I believe all the things you say and know how hard it can be. But you are so rough on yourself. People here CARE about you. Who cares what anyone esle thinks. I'm so sorry you suffer so much,but after all the time you've spent fighting don't give up. Better days may be closer than you think. Please don't forget prayer,it has helped me so much.

After all your struggles don't let the negative win. You have fought so valiantly, don't throw that away! Don't let your fighting mean nothing,by letting your negative side win.

Your a valuable good person ,don't let others opinions mean so much. We usually pick up these feelings of self destructiveness from others. Show me one baby that doesn't like themselves! Someone taught you or showed you to feel this way about yourself. They probably made you feel bad to make themselves feel good. This goes on generation after generation until finally one soul gets the baggage that is almost too much. Maybe that was you. But I really think the best of us get the most wounded. Don't let that inherited negativity destroy you. You are a good person and we need you and want you here. It 's time to start seeing your own goodness and value and not the projections of failed people who hurt you. You are not taking your pain out on others,but are putting it on yourself. That is a strong person. With all my heart and soul I beg you to STAY!!!!

You can write if you want.

Marty