I used to think that people who take the easy way out were weak and selfish. I've been down and out before but never thought about leaving my family, especially a year after my dad died suddenly. Now i understand that when youre so defeated and hopeless, suicide seems the only way. I just want to feel nothing anymore. I don't think there is any deity waiting in the clouds that will punish me if i do this, i won't feel the anugish i will cause, i wont miss anyone, so why not? I know how selfish this all sounds but it's like if you're starving, you'd find it hard to share. I'm at such an extreme,it seems like a good idea more and more.