now i understand

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aaronreaction, Jan 28, 2011.

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  1. aaronreaction

    aaronreaction New Member

    I used to think that people who take the easy way out were weak and selfish. I've been down and out before but never thought about leaving my family, especially a year after my dad died suddenly. Now i understand that when youre so defeated and hopeless, suicide seems the only way.
    I just want to feel nothing anymore.
    I don't think there is any deity waiting in the clouds that will punish me if i do this, i won't feel the anugish i will cause, i wont miss anyone, so why not?
    I know how selfish this all sounds but it's like if you're starving, you'd find it hard to share. I'm at such an extreme,it seems like a good idea more and more.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is not a good idea you mom what would become of her and others they would live a life of hell here. I know you do not want to cause that pain Best thing to do is to get some help for you. Depression is treatable with meds therapy you don't have to stay so deep in the darkness get some help okay so you can start feeling some joy again hugs
     
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Think how you felt when your dad died suddenly. Now think how others around you would feel if you were to die. It would be worse. You are someones daughter/son and apparently the worst thing that can ever happen to someone is to lose a daughter or son. It's not natural.

    Have you spoke to anyone about how you are feeling before? There will be people around you that care and want to help you. If you feel that you can't open up to them go see you GP, try phoning one of the crisis numbers, you can get email support fro, the samaritans. Try that.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    xxx
     
  4. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    Hey Aaronreaction,

    Hope you are feeling aa little better :hug:. This does NOT sound selfish it's a common feeling when you are depressed with no hope. Things CAN and WILL change. You just need to get support for yourself, help yourself. How did you feel when your dad left so suddenly? How do you think it would affect all the people around you? I'm glad you are reaching to us heree and I hope you carry on doing this :hug:
     
  5. aaronreaction

    aaronreaction New Member

    yeah, i've calmed alot since but this is the worse i've ever felt. I know this my sound fucked up but i have a suicide 'plan'. In the future, when my mother is gone, when the two dogs are gone and there is no one who depends on me, then i'll go.
    Thanks for the replies guys, it's done me good just registering on here but make no mistake, i'm not a good person and probably don't deserve 'saving'. Some people are simply not cut out to be.
     
  6. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    You are, youur now part on the SF family, you will see lodes more people care about you than you think :hug:
     
  7. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Can you tell me why you don't feel like you deserve?

    xxx
     
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