Now I wish I did It!

[Yoda]

Ok, let me explain:

Last year i did my military service, it was fun from time to time...but during that period of 11 months and before i started i was very suicidal and depressed. So the main reason i signed up for it was the chance to meet new people and get away from life at home.

But i was wrong.....it didnt turn out the way i planed at all and those couple of weeks we spent in the forest was very hard for me, so i talked to the nurse and i started seeing a therapist.....told him everything and he was suprised that i had the curage to even do this.

But now to the main problem i have....its been like 5 months since i got out of the military and ive fallen back to my life before the army and i keep thinking back at one specific moment: I was on watch alone during one very dark night and the thoughts were tough to handle......<Mod Edit - Acy - Methods> ..and i just sat there....but i didnt do anything, after a while i <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods> :unsure:

But if i were able to go back to that moment now...<Mod Edit - Acy - Methods> :sad:

So thats it.....

Btw....sorry for my english

 

[WildCherry]

Your English was okay, so no need to apologize!!

Are you still seeing a therapist? Sounds like you could benefit from someone to talk to.

Things can get better. As long as you're alive, there's hope.

 

[tainted-angel]

:console:

Im glad you didnt <Mod Edit - methods>

 

[Yoda]

Are you still seeing a therapist?

No, it was free.....but now it will cost alot of money if i would continue with the therapy......

 

[Yoda]

Im sick of it....no one seems to care....no one takes it seriously all i hear is; "Grow up!" "Stop it, thats ridiculus!" and so on......:cry: Having serious thought of ending it......just fade away, i dont think I'll be missed:sad:

 

[WildCherry]

It sucks that the people around you aren't taking you seriously. Obviously they don't understand that it's not something you can just get over or stop.

I hope you don't do anything. The people on this site care, so please, keep talking to us. We'll help you as much as we can.