I carry tools with me wherever I go. I have a problem with dissociating and self harm and the tools ground me and prevent me from dissociating. In three and a half years of carrying them I have never used them. However, they are a safety net, and in the past I have found that if I don't have a tool with me then I dissociate easier and often do a lot of damage to myself. The Day Hospital I go to have effectively told me I can't carry my tools anymore. My psych says what I say is very logical and makes sense to him, but it's the whole patient having a tool on them, and people panic about that. I'm buggered, basically. It's so hard and I struggle anyway, but this is so likely to make me dissociate and flip out. I only know one other way to prevent a dissociation, and it's counter productive. I've been panicking about this since they told me and it's not going to ease, I don't think, until after I've been next week, or unless I can sort something out. This is a very detached post, because if I write it with the emotions I feel I will just lose it. I'm very scared.