Not to long ago I was outside smoking a cig and a sudden urge to just burn myself came over me. This has never happened in the past. In fact I was always extra careful not to burn myself. But today I went ahead and burnt myself with the cigarette once and and bump formed. Since it was still lite I continued smoking and when I was finished I put the cigarette out on my hand. I even mashed it in there to make sure the light went out. The strange thing is I didn't mind the pain and the burns that are left don't reall hurt. It just that I don't know what made me do that. Lately I've been feeling completely different. I don't care about too much anymore. I can't wait to see what my therapist has to say about it.