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now I'm scared and confused

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UsedToBe

Well-Known Member
#1
Not sure if I should start new thread, so if it's inappropriate, please can admins delete it?

My brain is telling me to set another date. I'm scared, because last friday (when I failed) it seemed so real and now I feel even stronger about ending it. I just feel so detached. I gave myself 3 more weeks.

Did an Autistic Spectrum Quotient test today - 43. No wonder I cannot tell what people feel. Maybe my never-to-be-boyfriends took me out because he felt it was appropriate... I told him I missed him and he hugged me. I froze. This is stupid. I always freeze when people touch me.
The night was weird for me. We went to see a movie that happened to be very triggering for me, which I think he noticed and ask me if I wanted us to go. Or maybe he didn't notice and just got bored with the movie. I don't know, ffs.

I texted him thanking for the night and I said that he doesn't have to feel obliged to meet up. He texted back 'don't be silly, see you soon', then texted to ask if I was home. I asked 'not yet, why do you ask?'. And I guess I was defensive again and maybe it sounded rude. He said he wanted me to get home safe...

I can't work anything out of this at all. I am somehow emotionally impaired, judge people too quickly, cannot understand and interpret emotions and social situations. I don't know how to interact with people. I am falling for a guy whom I am going to lose, because I just don't know what to do, how to behave, what to say and when to keep my mouth shut.

Juniper. A socially awkward being.

Anyway, three weeks to go.
 
#2
I thought you had a husband and children?

Either way, have you been to a doctor yet? 3weeks isnt a realistic time frame to completely fix everything. talk to us here :hug:
 

UsedToBe

Well-Known Member
#5
can't move today. Everything hurts. Listening to the song he once put on my facebook. My life is falling apart. If I'm struggling to get through a single day, how long will I be able to hold on?
 
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