Now more than ever I'm sure on what I need to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Blackbird33, Aug 19, 2012.

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  1. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    Ive weighed the financial ramifications, the emotional fall-out, my current quality of life, and the personal connections I have.

    The greatest hardship my death could cause is financial. Right now I am living with family and my paycheck is vital to the household. But I have some savings that could help at least for a year and pay for my funeral.

    I have very little emotional connections a few family members and two friends. After the initial shock I think they all will be better without me. I add nothing to their lives and I've emotionally checked out a long time ago.

    My quality of little is pretty shitty I have job that gets me out of bed but other than that I spend most days in bed crying. Social outings are non-existent on my life and I have no friends that would even want to spend time with me.

    So with all this the best decision I can make probably the best decision I've ever made is to end my life for certain this time. I need to get my finances in order than plan method carefully. I'm a waste of a life and there is no point to continue living this shitty existence. My only hope is that I don't committ suicide implusively because I am always faced with triggers.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope you don't go through with it. You aren't a waste of a life, and if you ever feel like talking or if there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate to PM me.
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I don't know if you're on medication, or are in some type of therapy or counseling, but those are all things that have the potential to increase your quality of life. Even when I was referred to a psych doc, it took a while to find out what meds worked, and the dosages, as well as what other meds worked with or against each other. And that is always subject to change. And I'm really no fan boy for the pharma industry, but I'll do whatever works.

    Even counseling and therapy took some time to see any results.

    Emotional impact on the survivors? You probably don't realize how many people your suicide would effect, even if you think you're a faceless, anonymous being.

    I can't diagnose you, or analyze you, but I can ask that you stick around here.

    I am sure that you'll find many others that are feeling the way you are, or that have been. That's the beauty of this community - we're all here, trying to help each other through another day. You may even find some meaning to your life by being able to encourage someone else.

    But at the very least, you have a place where you're welcome, where you can ask questions or talk about what you need to, without being judged or ridiculed.

    And there are chat rooms for social interraction, or send a PM message to someone if you want to talk one to one.
  4. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    I've tried counseling and medications neither really helped I had a trigger episode and nothing helped me except my unwillingness to die yet. But now I don't care about anything I'm just a body walking around the only emotions I have are dark and miserable. I'm just a miserable who hates their life.
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