now what

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Jul 3, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    what does one do when the care of one you love is not in your hands anymore. Mydaughter i put in detox because everyone said she would be better away from me. I protected her i fought to get her all the help she has i don't know what to do now she is gone. I am so afraid she will harm herself again to get back at me for sending her there. How can i sleep so ff worried but theyall said i am no good for her. i was harming her she needs to fight for herself she is 20 only in age not developmentally she is 15 why can't htey see she needs me why. god i need to leave her alone im tired goingnow sorry
     
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    who is it that says that you are bad for her? What does your therapist say about all this I mean that is someone that 1 has your best interest at heart 2 you have sad you trust so i would give what he/she says a lot of credence.
    I know you are in pain your daughter is getting the help you so very much wanted! That is a victory for sure so give yourself some credit. Also I am certain that they have her protected in the as far as harming herself.
    What would ease your heart Mary?
    we are here for you!
    take care of you!
    B
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    what would ease my heart : Knowing she is going to get well going to get strong going to stop all this shit she is doing to herself. I don't matter i jst want someone who knows what the hell there doing tohelp her. I have screwed up so much by somehow overprotecting her i screwed her up why.
    i just wanted tolove her that is all but couldnT do that right either. I am such a fffff screwup a loser a nothing a noone i don't want to be her i tried to be someone i tried but failed as amother a wife i just don't care. Im glad she is getting helllp and once she goes to homewood when this happens i am done trying i am too tired and broken i just don't see anyway out. again i see i am talking in I as my friend would say. It is not about me it is about my girl and she needs help please me good to her.
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with IN NEED OF...You should talk with your therapist and take in what he/she says to you.. You need to love your daughter but not smother her..Give her some space.. If she harms her self it's not your fault.. She is an adult and has to learn to make the right choices in life.. I am a father and grandfather.. I worry about my girls all the time.. The difference is I don't tell them how to live there lives.. They have to be the ones to make their own decisions..That doesn't mean I don't love them it means I put my faith in them..You need to remember we use to be that age and made alot of mistakes..
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thanks your right bye
     
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    where are you going? you can still come back and talk here.
     
  7. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey Mary,

    Please stay with us and talk this out! Stranger was just giving some good advice that I think you should take. It's not your fault what happened to your daughter. We all make mistakes and we all suffer from the choices that WE make. But now that she is getting help and hopefully admitting to her mistakes, she will be able to help herself out of her situation. With you help of course, but in the end she has to do it on her own, or else the chance that she will relapse will be much greater. The part where you can help is to give her the support and love that she needs right now and the same goes to her, as it is obvious that you need a loving and helping hand as well right now. Luckily though, you do have us as well! Use us, talk to us, share your problems. And hopefully you'll both get out of this situation the better for it.

    Feel free to pm me if you need to talk.

    Max
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    my daughter ran off from detox ended up staying in a bar all night got totalled on booze and drugs god didn't come home till next night 1030pn yelling outside to get in. Stranger dropped her off. Now she is in a crisis house where again she is with others who do drugs where she can run off with whomever and do whatever and i sit and wait for a call to say she is dead Fuck all the while people are telling me to let her live her life and live my own life fuck do they know what the hell they are saying. She can't live her own life she is mentally unstable clue in she is schizophrenic so how the fuck can she live her own life. She did this then went unstable 2 years ago and all has gone down hill since So quit telling me to let her live her own life because she can't What the hell are they talking about aha hahahahahhah
     
  9. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hi Mary,

    I'm sorry, I gave advice before I knew the situation. Can you perhaps give me a more complete picture on what happened? Maybe I can give more constructive advice then? I am real sorry that things turned out this way. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with those types of demons. All I can do is be there to listen. I do hope you don't give up and still search for answers. I am sure there are people on here who have schizophrenia or family who suffer from schizophrenia as well, and they are obviously more equipped than me to help you. But as I said, I am still here to listen.

    Max
     
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks just so frustrating I am been fighting so long to get her the help she needs. She is given hope 2ND on the list to get in that was last January to CAMH now they say they don't know when she will get in all the while she is killing herself. Now i am trying to get her into Homewood for concurrent disorders but until then she is harming herself so much. I have 2 brothrs with szchizophrenia and an identical twin. as well My daughter mental illness has just start getting worse 1 year ago after her being raped in College. She was also raped age 15 I try so hard to help them. I missed out helping one brother and he committed suicide last year age 40. I am dying a slow death inside and with each attempt by my daughter i die even more. On top of all this my mother became blind cancer in her eyes had to get her treatment It seem life just keeps getting worse instead of better. I am being told to back off let her fend for herself Let professionals look after her. I want professionals to be looking after her but they are not there I want her in a long term facility but can't get her in. Yet being told i am interfering. I can't breath fuck I just want to get her where she will be safe from herself thats all. Until she gets her addiction under control she can't get her mental illness under control What would all these people do if it was their child 20 yes but not chronilogically. she is on 14 I won't back down I won't give her up until i know she is going to be safe. treated with respect treated as a person not a ffffff illness she is not a ffff illness she is my daughter get it people so until you in my shoes don't judge please don't i am doing everything i can to keep her alive. Then i will get help for me.
     
  11. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hi Mary,

    Once again I want to apologise. I didn't know about the situation. You seem like a very strong person, dealing with all this and still trying your best to help everyone close to you. God knows it is so easy to fall into the trap of self-pity and not to see the hurt in people around you. I truly admire you for putting their troubles ahead of your own! But I'm glad you are on here so that you can get some much deserved help and empathy for yourself as well. Just remember that we are all just human as well. I certainly don't know what it takes to care for someone who has schizophrenia, so forgive me if I oversimplified the matter. I am still here if you want to vent though, sometimes it helps just to have someone who will listen, but I'm sure there is someone on here who will have a much better idea of what your going through, so just keep posting. help will come.

    Until then you can always pm me if you need company. All the best for you and your family! I sincerely hope you find the answers you are looking for!

    Max
     
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thank you for understanding.
     
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Mary I am sorry for my earlier reply.. One of the diagnosis I have is skyzophrenia..I know how unstable it can make you..Don't give up hope... Do you have a dual diagnosis clinic there?? I agree she needs to get away from the booze and drugs first..You are a good mom and have put up a good fight to help her.. Don't give up..We are here to offer you the support to help you to keep going..
     
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    She is now in concurrent clinic but is allowed to come an go as she pleases I don't understand as she continues to be unstable yet is allowed to roam Guelph on her own continues to put herself in harms way. I wish they would just put her in lock down until she stabilizes but no one does thats I worry so much about her i know they say it is out of my hands now but i can't help but worry I pray the staff there sees her different personalities her mood swings I pray the doctor is able to get her on right meds I am left out of everything as she is an adult but she isn't truly her mind isn't. AGain i am sorry for my venting it really is just me I am greatful for everyone here take care.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 19, 2009
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