I made a promise, I kept it and in the process it meant I fucked up once again. I failed AGAIN!!!!!!! I thought I timed it right but had no idea a cruiser was in my area. They showed up toooooo soon. No more promises. I make them I get hurt. Others make them I get hurt. So I'm home. I should be in a pward. Yes I know that. But why? Why waste the time? I've been there plenty of times before. At this point it wont help. I'm still actively suicidal. I was dead honest with the docs and crisis worker at the hospital. And I'm home. CFS has taken my little one. Which was the instructions I left for the police. But now they are saying I wont get him back. They will let my abusive s.o.b. of an ex keep my other children but me????? So I'm home. If I wasnt so frickin wiped out from the meds from the attempt and my wrists werent so damn sore I'd be planning again. I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!!!! So many of you say you want to help me. Why? Well if you want to now is your chance. My littlest one is gone. My "adopted daughter" has slipped away. My oldest is on his own and the other two live with their dad and nothing I can do about that ( and believe me I have spent YEARS trying to change that) so I have nothing to hold on for or to. I never said I was anyones hero. My kids are all I had. So what now????? I just want to be dead. That's all.