Nowhere left to go.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Justin330, Jan 24, 2014.

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  1. Justin330

    Justin330 New Member

    I am at a point right now that I feel like ending my life is my only option, I don't want to but I do at the same time.

    My life has been an endless series of failure and abuse and disappointment and I feel as if it will never change, I'll never find anyone will love me for who I am good and bad.

    I was abused as a child on a daily basis. I was hurt by my parents, bullied in school, sexually molested by family friends and let down by every institution that I've encountered. On top of all that I am a failure of a human being myself with no education beyond a GED, no job, and no prospects for any kind of life. I'm 26 years old and a male.

    Up until now I have had a reason to try and stick this out but after yesterday that's over. I got into a fight with my fiancé over gas money and lost my temper, I did not hit her but pushed her away from me after she hit me. I left and she called the cops and filed domestic violence charges against me and took out a restraining order. I am not a violent person and the one person I loved in this world is treating me like I am. She took my daughter away from me and my home, I have a warrant for my arrest right now and don't know what to do.

    I have been so confused by this because she knows I'm not a violent person but says she is afraid of me... My whole life I never thought I would find any one who could love me but when she did I felt like this day would come. The day where everything changes and I'm once again alone...

    After this I don't think I can handle it. She and my daughter were everything, I can't live without them now. I feel my only recourse is to end it, it will only make things better for everyone else. She won't have to put up with a loser like me any more and my daughter won't have to grow up with an embarrassment as a father.

    I obviously have doubts here but I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Justin i am sorry your are so alone right now is there family members that can help you through this If there is a warrant out for your arrest perhaps you should go talk freely to police and let them know what happen Your little girl will need you hun she will not understand why you left her she won't
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Your daughter needs you, and that will never change. I know sometimes it's really hard to keep fighting when you feel you've been pushed so far, but you can fight for her. From what you said, your ex hit you, not the other way around; you know the truth, and it's worth trying everything to get the police to see that.
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hey Justin
    I m hearing ya here been through alot of what ya have described including the sexual abuse.I actually have 4 kids and love them dearly and even last year i felt death would be best for me but then i woke up for me not them as kids need tier dad to guide them.Running from the cops aint gunna help ya cause so best ya tell your side and yes i know they side with the other sex more but mate just sometimes we have to take that and move on.Be the man and when ya daughter needs ya oneday be there.I know its hard rght now but things do pan out heyWhen ya need to vent come here as ppl will listen and respect
    Take care hey hope it all works out for ya
  5. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    you need to go to the police right away.

    tell them the truth. dont miss anything out...even if it may be you in the wrong. have a solicitor with you. dont loose your temper however angry you feel.

    your chance to be there in future for your daughter starts here.
  6. Justin330

    Justin330 New Member

    I appreciate all the advice. I've decided to turn myself in. I really hope they believe me..
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Good luck, I really hope they listen to you and take you seriously! :hug:
  8. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Good on you Justin, wish you all the very best with your decision, so much better than the other option - genuine eating of humble pie can often achieve far more positives than we might fear it won't :)
  9. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    excellent! do let us know how things go.
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