Hi. I never wanted to be at the point of needing to post here but I feel so completely lost and alone. I feel guilty for saying how I feel as I know I have a lot more than most people in my situation do. I have a nice home, a loving family who would do anything they could to help me but they don’t know anywhere near how bad things are for me. I am too ashamed to tell them and don’t want their worry about me to cause them upset and illness (and this in turn will stress me more). I feel so ashamed and guilty that I have let myself get to this point. The point where I have made serious plans to end it. I’m just waiting for the second half of what I need to arrive in the post. It will be final. I have had depression (and various other mental health diagnoses) for 15 years. I have tried practically every anti-depressant, anti-psychotic medication going, have had ECT and recently finished a course of DBT, which helped a little when things were at the lower end of the scale – the opposite to things now. I seem to be crying constantly – including now. I feel so very ashamed of all the things I do in order to “cope” with each day. The mental health services have discharged me now as they feel there is nothing they can do to help so that is the end of any support for me. I agree I don’t want to be a waste of their time but feeling very abandoned by them now as they have confirmed my belief that I’m not worth anything. I don’t think I feel angry at the world any more, I think I’ve just given up. I’ve nowhere left to turn. Just alone with a lot of bad and scary thoughts. Thank you for listening.