Nowhere to turn

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JDxx, Jan 30, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. JDxx

    JDxx New Member

    My life sucks, I don't know how to improve my situation.

    I've been sold a bullshit dream that can never be realised. I always wanted to be a film director since I can remember. I love films.

    I was forced to live a life of hell for 32 years. Being made overweight from a young age, forced down a career path that I never should have been in.
    My parents have ruined my life and kept the ultimate secret from me about other people's secret religious beliefs.

    I want to be a singer now and have a successful career singing and getting my message and music out to people. I want success.
    I want material things, I want a girlfriend, I want to get married and have kids. I want it all. I want to be popular, I want to be loved,
    I want to be able to go where I want, when I want, and do anything I want to. I want what is owed to me, a life.

    But the religious community is blocking me from having a life and I don't know why.

    What is it that I've done that is so wrong? That I don't work? That I'm not in service to god? Well what do you expect. I want a life
    as a singer, or photographer, or film director. I'm getting no opportunities. No co-operation.

    I wanted to be a singer so I gave that my best shot but nothing has happened. I've got nowhere with it. I've not sold one album.

    Now I think I just want to be a photographer but I can't even get one customer.

    I don't know what I doing wrong?

    I'm 34, living back at parents house, where I don't want to be in a fucking small town in the middle of nowhere with no friends to help me.

    I've given up. My spirit is broken. If that is what they wanted to achieve then they have suceeded.

    I don't have anything else to give and I don't know where to turn.

    I'm sick of the matrix, money, the control this world has placed on me.

    I'm sick of this world fullstop.

    I'd rather just not be here anymore :(

    I see no remedy :(
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are 34 yrs old get a job any job to support you while you look for that career you really want You move out away from toxic family environment make a life of your own
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    It sounds like you are very undecided about what you really want to do in life. I think one of the best ways to start would be just getting a basic job to support yourself, save up your money and move to a new place. A new start, learning about what you want for yourself and starting afresh. You are still young at 34, you life or career is far from over yet. You need to do some self discovery to see what it is you really want, and what you want to get out of life. I also don't see any point in the material things until you can learn to be happy with who you are. Material things, are just, things. Objects. You can have everything, but if you are unhappy and lonely on the inside, it means absolutely nothing. Learn to like yourself or maybe even love yourself, find out who you are and where you really want to be.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.