Nowhere

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cult logic, Dec 2, 2010.

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  1. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    No matter what happens, everyone always ends with some or another reason to hate me.

    Anywhere, in life, on the internet, anywhere.

    I fit in nowhere, I am alone always. Even on this site, everything I say in chat is either ignored, or I am made out to be a horrible person because of expressing a thought that triggers something in a more important member.

    Don't worry hun, he's just an asshole that should kill himself anyway. Ignore what he says.

    Fine, why not.

    There is no reason for me not to, no one I know will even care beyond my mother who will not do anything but hate me until I am gone then maybe care.

    My absence will not even be noticed on this site which I have logged into almost every day for the past two years. Nothing but a testament to how much of a loser I am. I spend hours every day on a suicide site and on top of that every one there either ignores me or hates me.

    My death will either bring nothing, or mild satisfaction to everyone.

    So much is shown from my life experience.

    I am 4 months too young to buy what method would surely work. I cannot wait that long. But they say drastic times call for drastic measures, xxxx might have to do.

    I have to go look for something to use. Anything that might work.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 3, 2010
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Im sorry your having a hard day, I will be your friend, god knows I could use some.

    Im sorry you get ignored or treated bad, are you being rude or unfriendly? Ive only been in chat a couple of times and cant really get the hang of it, to me its more for pleasure than actually trying to have a normal conversation with someone.

    So PM me anytime you want to, to chat to vent, I promise to answer everytime. I might not be on everyday but I do try and log on as much as I can as this site keeps me sane most of the time.
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i can't speak to what happens in chat, as i'm never there but i value your contributions on the rest of the site. i don't hate you. i see you've been around for a while, me too. i'm on every day as well. in my mind no one member is more valuable than another, we are all equally important. i'm sorry you were made to feel otherwise. i'll try and keep an eye on your threads and respond as soon as i can. catherine.
     
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i will miss you. i like you in chat.
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You are not worthless here...I care...and many others do too...please know that and PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, J
     
  6. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    I've never been in chat. I don't really know how it works.
    I do know that not everyone hates you. I don't hate you, why would I? I think that (like many of us) you have problems with self esteem and you should seek therapy for that. (If that's possible where you are)
    I also think that you shouldn't worry too much about feeling like a 'loner'. The most interesting people go through periods (often long periods) of feeling like a loner and not fitting in. It's usually because you're way ahead of your peer group in terms of maturity and understanding. You've just got to wait for everyone else to catch up.
    I'm more than happy to talk to you anytime you want, just send me a pm.
    xxx
     
  7. Pip28

    Pip28 Well-Known Member

    What Catherine said about feeling like a loner is so true, my best friend is 11 years older than I am and I've known him since I started work 12 years ago when I was 16. Nobody I knew the same age as me back then could even begin to understand the kind of person I was.

    Anyway, Fawkes, any death will never bring nothing.
    I am new to this site but if you ever want to talk then please PM me.
     
  8. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Since the post "face reality" that I penned this out for was deleted, I'm just going to post it here.

    I suppose that is to say, if I am to think that instead of just me being a case that should kill myself, there are others too, I will have others be truthful and admit that they actually would like to see me as one of those dead.

    I suppose it wouldn't matter as I plan to kill myself either way but it does give one a small sense of vindication or at least affirmation.
     
  9. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry but I don't understand what you're trying to say here. Why would anyone else want to see you dead and how does it give you a sense of vindication or affirmation? Can you clarify?
     
  10. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Who said they want you dead, and who are they to choose that path for you. Only you can live your life, and only you get to choose if it ends. How immature of someone to treat you that way.

    and I disagree, if you doing this to spite someone you will lose in the end, because you will be gone and they are still going to be here mad as hell at you, hating you for what youve done.

    Come back on and talk some more, help us understand whats going on.
     
  11. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Fawkes, i always see you in chat and never ignore you. If you wish to talk to me then i will listen. I will seek you out and open my ears and my heart. Pete
     
  12. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i don't want to see you dead, either. i don't know about the post that was deleted but i suspect it went against guidelines by encouraging you to hurt yourself. you have to ignore assholes like that. they don't have your best interest to heart.
     
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