Hi! Haven't been here in awhile (though I doubt anyone remembers me). I haven't had any suicidal thoughts recently but I'm still slipping deeper into oblivion it seems. All the things that I've depended on have turned to ashes in my mouth, I am unable to derive joy out of anything. I just cannot see any possible future where I succeed. Furthermore yesterday I discovered a lump in my groin, going to the doc tomorrow. Just what need right now... Also my financial and social situation is in the dumps, I'm starting to have severe panic attacks even when talking to people I know well. This world is getting the best of me it seems.