I haven't posted in a while. Mainly because I don't know what to say anymore. I'm so numb, and I'm tired of complaining. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I keep talking about my future, but I don' think I will make it there. I try so hard to help others, but I can't ever help myself. I am so optimistic when it comes to others, but so pessimistic when it comes to myself. I just want everyone to stop hurting, including myself. I have my method, I'm just so terrified. I haven't told anyone, because I don't want to bother others. I don't want to die, I just wish I was never born. It feels like I have no other option. I'm all alone in a world overpowered by destruction.