Welp, I survived. Last night I overdosed and cut and ended up in hospital for the night. After an evaluation with the emergency psychiatric team both last night and this afternoon I've been released but kept under suicide watch by the family. I don't know what I'm feeling really. I'm guilty that I hurt the people I love, and I must admit that I'm a little bit relieved that now I can actually get some help. I just feel so numb now. I'm so exhausted both physically and emotionally. But I guess I'm glad I'm alive.