Observer or participator of life?

[Ziggy]

I'm an observer of life. I've no goals, no desire to interact with the world around me. People are happy or sad, they live, they die, make friends, fall in love, most of the time I don't care, I simply observe these things. It's their world not mine.

People tell me I should participate in life, I should fall in love, start a family, do something with worthwhile with my life. This would bring me the greatest happiness, but also the greatest sorrow I guess. I may be wrong, but I think most people are on this forum as a result of their participation with this world.

At the end of my life, if people asked me what I did, I would say I did nothing, but I observed a great deal. Is this a life worth living? Is that fulfilling your potential, just watching the world go by? But what else should we do? So observer or participator, which are you?

 

[perry_mason]

i am neither.

i have never been a participator in life. i guess i used to be a little bit of an observer but i dont even care about that now.

i just sort of float aimlessly through life now in a sort of nothingness.

 

[Ziggy]

I once explained this to a lass and she just said that I was simply a selfish person. She was quite drunk at the time so I'm not sure whether she was right or not. Maybe observers just crave security and are afraid of risk, and that's selfish maybe?

 

[Angelo_91]

We're all participators. We're all forced to live. In my opinion Observing is the same as Participating.

 

[Entoloma43]

no desire to interact with the world around me.

Then why do you have over 700 posts? Why are you on these forums at all?


I think you're deluding yourself, saying you're just an observer as sort of a defense mechanism.

 

[fromthatshow]

Maybe it's possible that I'm neither.
I'm very non-observant of the things around me. I'm trapped in my own loneliness and depression. Depression clouds everything so I don't see. I don't remember anything. I don't remember details which especially is important with a girlfriend. It hurts her when I don't remember or notice things I'm sure.

And I do not participate. I dissociate. That is the opposite of participation. I'm trapped in my own hell. I am no where near life. I'm much closer to death, even on a day when I wouldn't think of suicide.

 

[mike25]

Reminds me of the line from Britneys single 'Circus':
"There's only two types of people in the world, the ones who entertain and the ones who observe."
- I'm more of an observer of things around me, but I'm not a voyeur. I'd like to up my percentage on the participatory aspect.

 

[shades]

There are so very few people who have left such a mark on life compared to the number of people who have lived it.

My grandfather was a great man...he let several poor families stay in his apartment complex for free until they could pay whatever they could. To me, he was a great man that made a difference. But his name will never be recognized and he will just be one of the participators and observers who will for the most part go un-noticed.

There was only one Mozart, one Einstein...so very few who will go down in history as major players in this game of life.

We can only do what we can! I'm sure you've done some kindness for someone that helped them out. And you can continue to make a difference by posting here and giving advice when you feel up to it. I look forward to seeing you around SF. Take Care.

 

[Random]

I'm an observer of life. I've no goals, no desire to interact with the world around me. People are happy or sad, they live, they die, make friends, fall in love, most of the time I don't care, I simply observe these things. It's their world not mine.

I could've written this myself (and probably have, at some point). The worst of it is that I simply don't know why. On one hand, I can't imagine me being any other way but on the other, I know I shouldn't be this way. There must be something wrong for me to just not give a damn about anything or want to do anything.

Occasionally, I get little spurts of motivation and start thinking that maybe I will do something with myself and my life but then I just go to bed one night and wake up the next morning completely apathetic and not caring what people think of me because of it.

I like people, other people's lives and activities seem interesting. I just have no real desire to do it myself.

 

[Random]

I once explained this to a lass and she just said that I was simply a selfish person. She was quite drunk at the time so I'm not sure whether she was right or not. Maybe observers just crave security and are afraid of risk, and that's selfish maybe?

Well, everything we do is selfish. Even judging someone else (as she did) is a selfish act. She said something fairly insensitive (apparently) without considering how that would make you feel simply because she wanted to express it. That could be seen as selfish.

 

[Ziggy]

She said something fairly insensitive (apparently) without considering how that would make you feel simply because she wanted to express it. That could be seen as selfish.

I've come to agree with her that it is selfish.

Why do people participate in life, why do they pick their kids up from school, or go to the pub with their mates? It's because people want or need things from them. The more connections you have with other people the more you're expected to participate. Now I could argue that nobody wants or needs anything from me, but then you can still offer what you have to other people, as in what Shades said...

My grandfather was a great man...he let several poor families stay in his apartment complex for free until they could pay whatever they could.

The fact that I don't do this, probably makes me selfish. I mean I come up with excuses like I'm not good at stuff and don't get on well with people, but they're probably just excuses.

Anyway, thanks for the replies.

 

[Random]

The fact that I don't do this, probably makes me selfish. I mean I come up with excuses like I'm not good at stuff and don't get on well with people, but they're probably just excuses.

One really good excuse is that you don't own an apartment complex (presumably). If I did own something of substantial value and I could afford to be generous, I probably would be. I'm not selfish in that way. I like to share things with people if it's something I can spare. I like to see people happy. I'm selfish in the sense that I don't believe other people have a right to expect me to love living in this world the way it is just because they do. I think I have a right to express my displeasure with life. I think I have a right to refuse to participate in something I find pointless. There are not many things I demand so I don't feel that's any more selfish than most things people expect. I'm here in this world because a woman and a man decided they wanted a child. That's selfish. Now I'm stuck here. I can't live and I can't die. But I'm supposed to be happy and participate in things I don't really want to do.