Obsessed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by malack, Feb 10, 2010.

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  1. malack

    malack Active Member

    I'm not sure when the feeling of wanting to die turned into a complete obsession. If you asked me anytime before this year, I could point out to you all the things that made me feel this way. I could name every injustice, every act of abuse, molestation, and cruelty I've faced by the hands of family and peers. But, as time went on and the list grew longer, the specific reasons and details blurred. Now, I'm simply obsessed with dying. Its funny, almost...if I wanted to write a suicide note, I'd have to write an autobiography. My whole life was a suicide note.
    Now, I'm totally obsessed with death. I think of nothing else. I actually consider suicide more than once every single day, and I have suicidal tendancies in behavior. I drink, breathe, think, dream suicide and death. How did it get this bad?
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums!! I can partially relate to you..My first attempt was when I was thirteen..I won't bother you with details.. But I have been dealing with phsycological abuse and the fact that I was molested when I was twelve..
    There is help out there..You should see a therapist..I have been in therapy the last four years and have learned to cope with it..I fight my demons of those days on a dailey basis..I have learned to put the suicidal thoughts behind me In the mornings when I wake up..For the most part they stay there..Please seek out a good therapist to help you learn coping skills..
     
  3. I don't know why, but your post reminds me of the song "Dead Is The New Alive" by Emilie Autumn. Being obsessed with death and stuff lol. But, anyway, I relate to your post where you said that if you write a suicide note, it somehow becomes a story about your life. Your whole life.
     
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