Obsessed.

C

CatScratchFever

Member
#1
#1
Here's the thing. Me and my boyfriend split up about a year ago. We had a rough time, though he didn't know I cheated on him the whole time we were a couple. I finally broke up with him when I couldn't stand myself and my two-timing ass anymore. Well, ever since the break-up I've been obsessing over him. I can't get him out of my mind. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I blew it out of pure self destruction.

I couldn't stand that a person actually cared for me the way he did. He supported me in every possible way, and I got scared and wondered what the hell was going on. Someone in love with me? Aint happening. He must be out of his mind, he doesn't mean well, something's gotta be wrong.

I "punished" him by screwing around. I know I sound like a freak. Sorry 'bout that. I just want to hear if someone's recognizing him/herself in this behaviour.

I met him this weekend, for the first time in a year. We had sex, talked a lot, and damn, I love that guy. I know it aint the same anymore. He has no reasons to take me back. I can't take it. Can't take that he has moved on, met other girls. Can't get over it, though it was ME who (litterary) fucked up and left him in the first place.

What the fuck am I going to do...
 
S

Sa Palomera

Well-Known Member
#3
#3
You say you want to hear if anyone's recognising themselves in your behaviour. Well I do. I have a past of cheating several times, in several relationships.
I basically did it for the same reason as you; As soon as someone would get too close, emotionally, I'd screw up by cheating on them. Only difference is, that I would tell my partner that I screwed around, so they'd break up with me.

You have to find a way to break out of that habbit. I know I did (although I'm still very scared to fall back into it when I'm in a relationship again).
I managed to overcome this habbit, by talking about it. Last time I was in a serious relationship with a girl, I talked to her about it from the start. She knew about my past in regards to cheating and she knew I was scared I'd do it again.
We talked about it a lot in the first weeks/months of our relationship, but it really did help.
I didn't cheat on her (at least not until she falsely accused me of it, but that's an hole other story).
 
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