obsessive suicidal thoughts and plans

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by chrism67, Jun 28, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Im osessively thinking about suicide. I have a full plan and i constantly run through it. I know i belong in the hospital but im having trouble finding someone to watch my kids. The last time i waited i got someone to watch the kids and then i started my plan. I dont want it to be involved with the police. They are a part of my plan so i dont see it going well. I cant think of anything else. I dont know what to do.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Since you are in the US, there are many foster care organizations that are there just for this reason. Please contact me if I can help you access services...I am usually quite good at that..much caring
  3. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I just woke up from a dream.

    I was dreaming that i just couldnt take ir anymore. I started my plan and without too many details and was sot by the police(which i also want to happen). I started screaming and my daughter woke me up because i was not just screaming in my dream. . I cant get away from the thoughts. They are getting harder to control. I dont know how to get rid of them. Besides giving in..
  4. suiprev

    suiprev Member

    Consider calling the National Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Have you thought about the impact that it would have on your kids?
  5. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I have made many plans i have 4 children myself and i have attempted but now i think the impact it will have on them.Please never involve them in ya plan they do deserve a life there is plenty of help out there and i know it can become a stressful event in finding it but it is worth it.Do it for you and your kids.I do understand suicidal thoughts as i still suffer them but the best ya can do is have a safe plan and there are ppl organisations which will help you.It is taken serious now days so dont feel ashamed.Also we always here too so use this forum to vent talk.Take care
  6. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I didnt sleep at all last night. My anxiety had me up all night. Its also making me run today. I cant sit still Or focus on anything. Im in fastforward. My thoughts are extremely dark. I want to cut soo bad. But i know i cant trust myself i couldnt even trust myself with even a paperclip. At group they didnt offere anything useful. Probably because they know there is mo help for me. Im a lost cause. I should just do it amd get it over for everyone
  7. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    La time i saw my therapist he wanted me t
    o go to the hospital, but i told him i had things to do. I dont see him till tues. I dont know if i will make it till then. I cant distract myself from the thoughts anymore. It doesnt matter what i do. They are cutting and suicidal. And once again my anxiety is keeping me up. I cant pull another all nighter. im very irritable, even to the kids. Which isnt like me. t times i feel like im going crazy. I really dont want to go in.. Uuuugggggggg. I dont know what to do. But i want it all to end, like Now.
  8. Jemm

    Jemm Well-Known Member

    When your mind is racing in the darkness and all you feel is the agony of the thoughts, it's very difficult to take a step back and see the bigger picture. You are NOT alone and you ARE worth the effort it will take to get help. There are many people out there that dedicate their lives to pull people out of the depths of pain. Please, you and your children are worth it, please call a help line or your doctor.
  9. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I just cant do it anymore. Im drowning. I want to just filet my wrist and call it quits. Life is just too hard. i cant do it. Ive even seen it in my thoughts, dreams etc. i want to just cut and watch the blood.im sorry to have bothered Or offended anyone.
  10. bluebonnet

    bluebonnet New Member

    i know just how you feel....almost 54 years old and last week at work i was using a sharp knife to try to cut my wrists also... first ever i have tried to do that.... i too want to just end it all now... wish i could be of more support outside of just saying i know how you feel...
  11. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Im really depreased. My partial group is discharging me because im too symptomatis. My case worker left today. And my therapist cancelled. I really cant guarentee any safety. I want to just cut my arm open. I dont think i have the strength to go on. I think ill just start saying my goodbyes.
  12. Alex94

    Alex94 Member

    i'm in the exact situation, except i have carried out my plan but failed twice.
    Only thing keeping me from doing it again is my Mother, i just think about how it would ruin her life. But i am currently seeking somewhere to get some help in case i can't stop myself again, i strongly encourage you to do the same.. (not sure if you are in the same situation of no body even knowing about it like myself) but if people do, take advantage of that and get them to help you.
  13. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I seriously want to do it and get it over with. I dont feel like i have too much control. I dont see any other way out. Well time to start saying my goodbyes.
  14. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I have my plan and ready to go. I cant live like this anymore. Mental and physical pain. Its constant only choice. But i see my therapist tomorrow and if i tell him how im feeling i know that the only way im leaving is in an ambulance. But i dont want that either. Dont know what to do. maybe ill cancel my appointment.so i can do what i want. I have my goodbyes ready to be emailed
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