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OCD question

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#1
I'm not sure where to ask this and maybe it's been discussed endlessly already but....how do you know or how can you tell if you have OCD (if it's not so obvious). When I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and she asked some questions before prescribing anti depressants one of the things she asked was whether I had OCD or obsessive thoughts. I said no straight away because I was thinking of things like maybe self harm or hand washing. But I've been thinking about it since she asked because it kind of hit something in my brain and honestly, I can't really talk about it but I really think I have it. It's something I want so much to ask here but it's public (and too revealing) and I really want it to stop. It's a constant chain of thoughts and actions I have to do once twice three times a day. Sometimes I can go for a few days without thinking about it and I feel so good, other days it's consuming and I'm in circles talking myself out of the need to act on it. In itself it actually sounds harmless maybe even silly but the fact I can't stop myself and if it wasn't this thing it might be something else. In fact I recognise the obsessive behaviors I used to do, now that I'm aware of it. Is that OCD?? I channel it into my art, I paint every day but I'll be honest, I'm so afraid if I get dementia or something like that and my thoughts suddenly come out of my mouth - maybe my brain has been thinking these things for so long they are now set in there if that makes sense?! Does anyone recognise any of this??
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#2
Hoping just by writing out and putting it into words takes the sting and the compulsion away. Thinking about what I'm doing and seeing it in writing makes it more real. Not sure I need an answer, just have to stop keeping it inside somehow and this is the safest place.
 

Sad Elf

Well-Known Member
#3
Hi,

I will give you some examples of how my OCD effects me, maybe this will help you to see if you have similar thoughts.

If I hear a certain noise, I have to do a certain compulsion.
If I look at something that I don't like I have to wash.
If I want to buy something , I avoid buying it in multiples of certain numbers.
If a certain song comes in the radio I have to repeat something in my head a certain amount t of times.
I have to have cupboards etc in a certain order.
I have very ridge routines and rules about what time I do things etc.
I also have the classic washing and checking but the above are a few things that have effected me over the years and might not be what you typically think of as OCD.

It's worth noting that you can have the obsessive thought but not everyone gets the compulsion, or it's not an outward compulsion, it may be repeating something in your head etc

It's not an exhaustive list but might help give you some insight.

Take care
Elf
 
#4
I've not been diagnosed with OCD and I don't believe I have it but I do relate to what you say about obsessive/compulsive thought patterns. I'm sure mine must be because of anxiety but yeah it drives me mad. Someone will give me a solution to something, a way to feel better, but then later and the next day my mind will just pop up with intrusive thoughts forcing me to go through all the pain of thinking it through again even though it was kinda resolved not long ago. and it repeats day after day or week after week. People will be like "for gods sake we've been through this 100 times!" and its like yeah but my mind needs it going through again and I cant help it!

I don't know much about OCD itself, I assumed that only related to doing certain actions on repeat, not just having thoughts, but I have no clue *sadhug
 

Sunspots

Daydream Believer
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#5
Hi Blue

I have some OCD tendancies but not enough to be diagnosed. One thing that might be worth you looking at is Pure O (Purely Obsessive OCD). It revolves more around thoughts and mental rituals rather than physical rituals. It's also fairly common with Pure O to have obsessive thoughts about things that are really hard to admit to for fear of judgement even though you would never act on them.
 

Autumn1973

Looking for people who will accept me for who I am
#6
Hey, BlueGreen. What helped me most was learning to accept it so I could learn how to live with it. Eating certain types of foods only in even numbers, making sure my shoes are positioned on the center of the rug in front of my door, directly pointing at the door, laces tucked inside each shoe, my list goes on and on. My ex once said to me, what a tortured little world you must live in. But I don't look at it that way because it's just a part of who I am. I've embraced it, learned how to use it to strengthen my attention to detail in whatever I'm doing.
 

Autumn1973

Looking for people who will accept me for who I am
#7
Hi,

I will give you some examples of how my OCD effects me, maybe this will help you to see if you have similar thoughts.

If I hear a certain noise, I have to do a certain compulsion.
If I look at something that I don't like I have to wash.
If I want to buy something , I avoid buying it in multiples of certain numbers.
If a certain song comes in the radio I have to repeat something in my head a certain amount t of times.
I have to have cupboards etc in a certain order.
I have very ridge routines and rules about what time I do things etc.
I also have the classic washing and checking but the above are a few things that have effected me over the years and might not be what you typically think of as OCD.

It's worth noting that you can have the obsessive thought but not everyone gets the compulsion, or it's not an outward compulsion, it may be repeating something in your head etc

It's not an exhaustive list but might help give you some insight.

Take care
Elf
Hey, Sad Elf. Just wondering, do you have to count certain things, too? Every time I go up or down stairs I count them, it's become automatic, I don't even have to think about it anymore.
 

Sad Elf

Well-Known Member
#8
Hi @Autumn1973 .
I count the number of times I do things, which I guess is all related to the checking. I was going to say no to counting stairs etc, but I do know how many stairs I have so thinking I might do it without realising!!

I know what you mean about trying to use it to your advantage, I do try but probs need to try harder!

Have you found anything that's helped reduce your OCD ?

Elf
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#9
Hi,

I will give you some examples of how my OCD effects me, maybe this will help you to see if you have similar thoughts.

If I hear a certain noise, I have to do a certain compulsion.
If I look at something that I don't like I have to wash.
If I want to buy something , I avoid buying it in multiples of certain numbers.
If a certain song comes in the radio I have to repeat something in my head a certain amount t of times.
I have to have cupboards etc in a certain order.
I have very ridge routines and rules about what time I do things etc.
I also have the classic washing and checking but the above are a few things that have effected me over the years and might not be what you typically think of as OCD.

It's worth noting that you can have the obsessive thought but not everyone gets the compulsion, or it's not an outward compulsion, it may be repeating something in your head etc

It's not an exhaustive list but might help give you some insight.

Take care
Elf
Thanks @Sad Elf, that really helps. Yes, it's just obsessive thoughts which is why I never really thought I had OCD. Now I see the answers here I realise it's not so cut and dried as I thought and that's a relief.
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#10
I've not been diagnosed with OCD and I don't believe I have it but I do relate to what you say about obsessive/compulsive thought patterns. I'm sure mine must be because of anxiety but yeah it drives me mad. Someone will give me a solution to something, a way to feel better, but then later and the next day my mind will just pop up with intrusive thoughts forcing me to go through all the pain of thinking it through again even though it was kinda resolved not long ago. and it repeats day after day or week after week. People will be like "for gods sake we've been through this 100 times!" and its like yeah but my mind needs it going through again and I cant help it!

I don't know much about OCD itself, I assumed that only related to doing certain actions on repeat, not just having thoughts, but I have no clue *sadhug
Thanks @lost_in_a_fairytale, I'm sort of coming to terms with it recently. Something happened recently that made me more aware and made me question why I was doing it. Yes, it's so hard not to do something even when you know it's pointless.
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#11
Hey, BlueGreen. What helped me most was learning to accept it so I could learn how to live with it. Eating certain types of foods only in even numbers, making sure my shoes are positioned on the center of the rug in front of my door, directly pointing at the door, laces tucked inside each shoe, my list goes on and on. My ex once said to me, what a tortured little world you must live in. But I don't look at it that way because it's just a part of who I am. I've embraced it, learned how to use it to strengthen my attention to detail in whatever I'm doing.
That's such a good way of looking at it, @Autumn1973 and you are so right - attention to detail is a great thing to have!
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#12
Hi Blue

I have some OCD tendancies but not enough to be diagnosed. One thing that might be worth you looking at is Pure O (Purely Obsessive OCD). It revolves more around thoughts and mental rituals rather than physical rituals. It's also fairly common with Pure O to have obsessive thoughts about things that are really hard to admit to for fear of judgement even though you would never act on them.
Thanks @Sunspots , that is really helpful. Yes, mine is purely thoughts and although I can't find the courage to write it out and partly it's fear of family finding this but I read a comment of yours quite a while ago and I think you will understand what it is I'm thinking. It's been going on for 32 years. Lets just say there was a fork in the road and I went one way and not another and haven't stopped thinking about it since. A couple of years ago I got some info (after years of nothing and thinking) and it didn't help me move forward, if anything it made it worse. But I'm gradually coming to terms with it. I don't have a choice really but it's so bloody hard and totally stupid. I want to find a way to end it (in my head) without doing anything stupid that will force me to confront myself. I wonder if this makes sense? When you joke about us having similar situations you weren't wrong. I didn't say anything to your post because it might have sounded too coincidental. The fact that you wrote it really helped me though.

Reading up about it (OCD) I realised it kind of all comes back to how we have been treated by family early on. In one sense it's totally understandable that I should behave this way. All my analysing just hasn't made much difference so far. *facepalm
 

MisterBGone

o O Oo oO oOo O ooo..!;)~
SF Supporter
#13
Hello @BlueGreen : ) I don't know if you've actually taken a look at the diagnostic features in something like the DSM-5 (APA)?

But that might help you a bit --(or it also could not!) ;) As if you just scroll through some of those, you can wind up incorrectly diagnosing your self w/half the things in there. . . Only a slight exaggeration, of course! :D

I remember when I was going back to school for some more psychology, just for the heck of it... or fun! Well, we had a Medical School on our campus, and thus I marched over the book store & picked up the study guide that they (the med students) used to study for their boards. It was helpful in giving me a better understanding of some of the conditions in a very concise manner. But what I did notice, is that the first page or two of bulleted highlights for diagnostic features of a whole bunch of them (the disorders); a very similar thing occurred: I'd start to sweat & go, "Hey?!?! That's ME." :D

But then inevitably, by the time I got to flipping a few pages later, or through to the end, it was like, "Ohhh... ;) I'm so relieved!" (I guess I Don't have that/or-it). . . Also a good way for cross-referencing purposes, and seeing comparisons and contrasts, in especially so for how many things are apparent in various different diagnoses. :)

Good Luck! I know that in this case in particular, there's been some good examples in film & tv. Like, Monk, As Good As It Gets & even What About Bob?

I think both Jack Nicholson and perhaps Bill Murray said a similar thing, too... & it was in that, You couldn't play it "too truthfully!" The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; or it would be too real, and therefore not (or no longer) funny. Interesting!

And a lot of the people that I personally know that have this as a diagnosis (& not "self," diagnosed), it's pretty obvious - to me (that they do!).
It's also one of those conditions, I feel, that like ADD/ADHD, people tend to gloat or brag about having. Like, they think of the positive aspects or qualities we so often find or associate with them. Neglecting to attribute some of the less glamorous ones (that they may not even be aware of). But if they were, may not be so quick to be boasting about..;)
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#14
Hello @BlueGreen : ) I don't know if you've actually taken a look at the diagnostic features in something like the DSM-5 (APA)?

But that might help you a bit --(or it also could not!) ;) As if you just scroll through some of those, you can wind up incorrectly diagnosing your self w/half the things in there. . . Only a slight exaggeration, of course! :D

I remember when I was going back to school for some more psychology, just for the heck of it... or fun! Well, we had a Medical School on our campus, and thus I marched over the book store & picked up the study guide that they (the med students) used to study for their boards. It was helpful in giving me a better understanding of some of the conditions in a very concise manner. But what I did notice, is that the first page or two of bulleted highlights for diagnostic features of a whole bunch of them (the disorders); a very similar thing occurred: I'd start to sweat & go, "Hey?!?! That's ME." :D

But then inevitably, by the time I got to flipping a few pages later, or through to the end, it was like, "Ohhh... ;) I'm so relieved!" (I guess I Don't have that/or-it). . . Also a good way for cross-referencing purposes, and seeing comparisons and contrasts, in especially so for how many things are apparent in various different diagnoses. :)

Good Luck! I know that in this case in particular, there's been some good examples in film & tv. Like, Monk, As Good As It Gets & even What About Bob?

I think both Jack Nicholson and perhaps Bill Murray said a similar thing, too... & it was in that, You couldn't play it "too truthfully!" The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; or it would be too real, and therefore not (or no longer) funny. Interesting!

And a lot of the people that I personally know that have this as a diagnosis (& not "self," diagnosed), it's pretty obvious - to me (that they do!).
It's also one of those conditions, I feel, that like ADD/ADHD, people tend to gloat or brag about having. Like, they think of the positive aspects or qualities we so often find or associate with them. Neglecting to attribute some of the less glamorous ones (that they may not even be aware of). But if they were, may not be so quick to be boasting about..;)
Yes, I thought about that, Mr B. (Hi :D) I don't think I do have a classic OCD, if I can call it that. Pure O makes sense to me. I do think human beings are kind of designed to be obsessive - like babies learning to speak, we are programmed to go over and over to learn things. Maybe some of us have too much of whatever it is! I don't think I have any physical compulsions but certainly these thought every day for years and years is getting on my nerves. Maybe we all do?? I think of certain people we meet and they always have the same topic of conversation? It's funny but in my teens and 20's I used to read a lot of psychology books trying to diagnose my family issues and now I look back I realise I couldn't see the wood for the trees! I was jumping on all these little things but the answer was fairly simple - just came under a large umbrella called narcissism. I really wish I had known that back then!
 

Autumn1973

Looking for people who will accept me for who I am
#15
Hi @Autumn1973 .
I count the number of times I do things, which I guess is all related to the checking. I was going to say no to counting stairs etc, but I do know how many stairs I have so thinking I might do it without realising!!

I know what you mean about trying to use it to your advantage, I do try but probs need to try harder!

Have you found anything that's helped reduce your OCD ?

Elf
Hi, hope you're having a good day, Sad Elf. No, I haven't really found anything to reduce my OCD. I've just learned to live with it. Although there are times every day where I want to go back out to my car to make sure I turned off the headlights and locked it. If I'm able to recall doing those things, I can keep myself from going back out to double check. I remember specifically doing those things, but I still feel the need to check. Sometimes it's kind of a fight with myself to not do it, but focus on the memory of doing it as hard as I can, and I can get that urge to pass. So maybe that would count as reducing it? What do you think, should that count?
 

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