I am new using this forum. To be honest I found this website trying to decide a method to finish with my life. I lost most of my relatives during October, even my best friend. So, my depression is very strong right now. I´m using therapy, pills, gym, etc... but when I am feeling down is just like a terrible bainstorm full of suicidal thoughts. I don´t want to come home, my place is empty now. My wife asked for ¨time¨ because she needs to think if she can deal with my depression. After 14 years, I lost my job for the first time. I feel anxiety because I was looking for a job during 16 months and now I am so afraid to lose my job again with all the financial crisis around the World. I spend my nights trying to read or watching tv but I´m not focused. I can´t sleep, I can´t eat. I have been under treatment during 4 years but to be honest I never felt something so strong like this before. I just want to stop this pain, I just want to rest.