Usually I just fantasize about suicide but never go through with it. Last night was different though. I was really upset over nothing and I thought I had enough will to go through with it. Took my meds which make me pass out and woke up 6 hours later. Felt okay at first then things took a turn for the worse. Since then I've spent pretty much the whole day staring at the ceiling and trying to get into the gym. Right now I'm hurting but not quite motivated to suicide. I feel like this is not going to last very long though. What am I going to do when the stronger feelings come back? I don't want to do it because of morals but how much pain can I take. I don't even think I'm rational right now. Is it wrong to want to die? I never asked to be born although my parents seem to think they did me some kind of big fucking favor that I owe them for. If life is a gift, mine surely came without the instructions for assembly.