just out of hospital - been on a drip for the last 4 days. was desperate, felt more depressed and hopeless than i ever have in my life on wednesday/thursday. i<Mod Edit - methods> woke up with severe pain and nausea at about 4am. got to hospital about 5am and they put me on the antidote - my mum found me wretching and in pain. i went bright yellow apparantly. doctor said that i'm very lucky to be alive, considering my size and the amount i took, but that i am healthy, and got to the hospital in time to reverse effects <Mod Edit - methods> on my liver. i'm feeling good at the moment, i hope it continues. i think i'm just elated to be out of hospital. bored to tears in there and have no privacy...have to make constant small talk with nurses and fellow patients, and be pleasant when ur feeling anything but. i was so stupid, but i was in so much pain and saw no future...keep thinking i'll never get another boyfriend. lonely and isolated. sick of being tired all the time cos of the depression - unable to do anything to help myself cos i never have the energy. think i'm a burden on society and my mum. saw a psychiatrist while i was in there. he's put me on different anti-depressants called 'effexor'. and i think they're gonna take me serious now, arrange proper treatment for me. so tired, and am all shakey and weak but i'm sure i'll feel better soon. feel very stupid and embarrassed, but at the moment i don't feel suicidal, and would certainly not try a paracetamol od again!!! physical pain is too much to bear. i'm thinking more positively about life now. i saw and heard some terrible stories in hospital - realise my quality of life may not be so bad and that there might be hope for me, that life might get better in the future if i really fight to change my life situation.