oh god, so much on my mind...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Puddytat, Nov 29, 2007.

  1. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    want it to all stop. feel like my head is reeling. i just want to shout it all out so it goes away but where to even start???

    ha ha the other night i was talking in my sleep, something about needing 9 more quotes, and i was getting cross coz my bf wasnt understanding. im never gonna live that down. just shows how my mind is trying to deal with everything. cant wait for some peace.

    another week almost over, thank god, i need a holiday. so excited about that, im excited about my birthday coming up (weird coz ive hated bdays since my 21st, bad story), not really excited about xmas tho, that is just too much stress im trying to avoid! im so excited about my new house, well i dont want to get excited coz something could still go wrong and it could fall through. wish i could just sign everything now and be done with it, i want to move, i want to decorate, i want to settle down, i want to relax, i want to stop thinking about it and worrying about it everyday.

    im staying positive about everything in my life and it does help, i notice it does have a huge impact. i guess its coz im too busy to think about anything else(been hecticly busy during the days) but i dont want to think that there could be anything going wrong coz then it might and i dont know if i could handle that.

    just found out that there is some discrepancy with my final car payment and i still owe some money... agh... its ok tho, its fixable, i can deal with it.

    otherwise besides my mind jumping franticly from one thing to the other and me not getting much sleep at night, the only thing that is really bringing me down lately is my weight, it seem that everything else in my life is starting to fall into place but my weight seems to keep going up. no matter what i do, what i eat/dont eat, its escalating so fast and i dont know how to bring it down except working out 5hrs a day which who has the time for??? and to stop eating all together, not likely! aaagh, im so fed up!!! i wanna cry all the time when i see or feel myself, i dont know how much more i can take.

    rant complete... for now