oh, god

[FallingLeaf]

My boyfriend and I broke up over my insecurities and inability to tell him what I mean the way I actually meant it. The breakup itself happened over a week ago, and I am so embarrassed at how I acted- begging him to talk to me about it when he's busy working all day or taking care of his sick grandmother, crying, etc. Finally last Friday I asked him something that offended him so badly he said he was done with me for good.

I'm absolutely, 100% in love with this man. He's amazing and I feel like I'll explode with him much I miss and love him. But I acted like a child and the insecurities got worse and worse, and my depression has gotten worse and worse. I know he loved me as much as I do in return, and can't see it having faded because of what happened. I want him back so badly. I've learned a lot from this and matured a lot, too, but it feels so pointless when I lost him.

I just don't know what to do. I wrote him an apology, he might have gotten it today, I don't know exactly. I haven't spoken to him since friday. I want to leave him alone but at the same time, I want to apologize and tell him that I get it now, that I've figured out what I was doing. I just miss him so much.
This on top of the depression and the recurring eating disorder thoughts I'm just a complete mess right now...It's getting so bad, and I'm so foggy headed and dead-feeling that I don't have any clue what to do...

 

[Epical Taylz]

it was a good idea writing the letter to him,
but i thnk that you should let him have some time
on his own so that he can clear his head a little

ive been through this situation before, and i know
that it seems liek a tough thing to do, to just let
him go for a little while, but if he loves you as much
as it seems like he does, hell come back to you when
his head is straight

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

it was a good idea writing the letter to him,
but i thnk that you should let him have some time
on his own so that he can clear his head a little

ive been through this situation before, and i know
that it seems liek a tough thing to do, to just let
him go for a little while, but if he loves you as much
as it seems like he does, hell come back to you when
his head is straight

I 2nd that. Hopefully things work out.

 

[Anam_Cara]

Give it time and him some space for a while.. ive had many many people tell me when i was going through trauma in the relationship im in to just be patient, let the one i love know how i feel and then give them space while they sort their head.. sounds like you both really do love one another, and love has a way of sorting itself and making things right if you are patient and dont give up...

i know how it feels as ive gone through alot lately with my relationship.. things get rocky and off course in moments but love pulls it through.. hold onto that and stay the course..

 

[Sa Palomera]

I agree with what's been said before, maybe it's time to give him some space. You wrote a letter, he'll probably need some time to get his head around that, give him some time and space to do so.
I hope things will work out for you :hug:

 

[plates]

Yep, give him time and space. Those things do wonders. I do hope it works out for you. I do hear your distress and all this can be very painful.