I'm new obviously. Um... I'm a twenty-year-old student currently in tough times with no one really around who understands what it's like to not only have the burden of circumstances themselves but to be already depressed and suicidal under them. So I figured maybe around here I could see how others are coping (And if not, see that I'm not alone.). I'm done with reaching out to people in "meatspace." =/ And since I'm posting anyway I might as well explain a little what's going on. I'm having a bad semester at a school I never wanted to attend in the first place (This whole city is bad for me.) with no hope to transfer anytime soon, and the workload for the two classes I'm taking is 100% more than I had last semester for four. I'm very much behind and it's only the third week. I'm in tears right now trying to do math homework I can't even understand. It's due tomorrow. I couldn't do it yesterday because I was preparing homework due then, and so on with the days before. There's so much I'm spending hours on it every single day and getting nowhere. And here's the real bite: I have fibromyalgia, which makes me react horribly to stress mentally and physically. I'm on meds to counteract the brainfog so I can be a half-functioning puppet in school but they make me anxious and miserable. I'm in pain and my memory is horrid right now. I can't even remember what classes I took last semester. I told my parents I was not mentally or physically fit to do another semester at this time but they never take anything I say seriously. I honestly don't think I am going to make it out alive this time. I barely made it out of the last few semesters with my life and sometimes it was only due to my own complete failure to pull off death that I did. I need help but what can I do? If I quit now I'll be stuck here another horrid semester of agony. But if I don't I'm going to get all Fs anyway and end up in a hospital. Oh, um, something positive: What I actually want to do in life is be a musician and author who lives in a little cottage somewhere near the coast. If I could just have this without a lot of wealth or anything, I would survive quite happily and spend most of my time drinking tea and playing guitar on the beach. :3 So you know my life and dream now. *whew* I'll see you all around.