oh i Just CANT be BOThered anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Falcon0006, Nov 3, 2008.

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  1. Falcon0006

    Falcon0006 Well-Known Member

    I hate my life so much, right now, I have great friends in real life, and I'm let down by being the poorest fucking worker in my school, For some reason not being able to do homework at all I fucking sabotage myself I DONT know why, I cant concentrate on it. Im so scared about leaving school cause what do I do Im a failure, My mums dissapointed in me cause im failing, when they all said I should of been smart, and you can just tell the dissapointment in someones eyes, Its Heart stopping.

    And Im just sitting there Wanting to get on with my friends, just hoping for everything to turn out but I know it wont, I just Fucking know it wont, Im bottom in my class For every single one, just because of depression. Just cause I cant CONcentrate for no fault of my own. AND THATS Messed up because as much as I want to try for everyone, and succeed to make people proud I cant.

    And i'm going to drop out of college. And Im going to get a terrible job, because Im not Serious enough to maintain a job I just make a joke out of everything. AND i lie to cover everything up.... because I dont want to look bad infront of everyone. See I've got to commit suicide. I've fucking got to..I cant face this pressure. I'm not trying to make my problems seem the hugest ever, this is more proving to myself, that im not crazy, Everything around me has made the best it can, but because I became depressed. Fuck depression, fuck life, Fuck the rules you have to go through to become the high and mighty in society, I fucking want to live in a house, with friends, having fun, I just need to die so bad... why the fuck does god do this shit.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2008
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Falcon,
    I relate to you because I quit school myself. I let drugs and partying take over my life. it just isn't worth it. Try and find a tutor to help you understand your school work.
    i know how you feel about not retaing what you learn. I am an avid reader but here lately my reading just hasn't been happening because I keep forgetting what I read.Seek the help now, don't wait until you are my age. Take Care!~Joseph~
     
  3. northface35

    northface35 Guest

    You definitely remind me of myself.

    Try your best and hope for everything to turn out the way you want it to. Hey, I know people who were at the bottom of their class and later became more successful than the students at the top of their class. You have potential; the fact that you can recognize your own problem is a great start. Now that you recognized it, correct it. That's all I can say.

    Good luck. :wink:
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I almost failed out of college, and I am doing rather OK today...maybe, you need to focus upon the underlying issues that are causing your lack of concentration, etc? Just my 2 sense, and hope things do improve, J
     
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Firstly I'd like to say that I've just read the threads you have posted in the past and on the whole they come over as well written and coherant so it's obvious to me that you do have a reasonable level of intelligence. I think your underachievement at school is probably a lot more to do with your family situation than a lack of anything on your part. Depression doesn't help because it can make concentrating on anything difficult and considering your situation it's not a suprise that you feel that way. Don't give up though as there are many people who go through school facing similar things and their lives don't really take off until they have moved out of the family home. I have friends who achieved very little in school but who have gone on to have successful and fulfilling lives. Hang on in there and things can get better for you. Have you ever actually had any help for your depression because if not then maybe you should seek for some. I know how lonely and worthless it can make your life seem as I suffer from depression myself. There is help available though. You deserve more than you seem to be getting at the moment and I hope things work out for you. PM me anytime if you want to chat. Best of luck.
     
  6. meliisa

    meliisa Member

    Hey, about school. At the beginning of this year I had it in my head that I was going to graduate from school. Due to a series of events I came to the conclusion that there are so many other ways to get to uni or college and do the studies you want to do. Im just trying to get my head on track because school can wait. As much as you don't want to dissappoint your mum, you have to what's going to help you
     
  7. Falcon0006

    Falcon0006 Well-Known Member

    I wrote this really quickly and a fit of rage, but Seriously guys your replies have been Really good to hear. Put me in a better mood, and at least I know Im not just the only guy struggling with work at times, sometimes it seems at sixth form everyone is on track and I'm just stuck In the middle.

    But I am thinking of dropping out of college, it's really overblown how important it is, I'd rather be doing something else.

    Thanks for the help Much love :cupidhit:
     
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