I hate my life so much, right now, I have great friends in real life, and I'm let down by being the poorest fucking worker in my school, For some reason not being able to do homework at all I fucking sabotage myself I DONT know why, I cant concentrate on it. Im so scared about leaving school cause what do I do Im a failure, My mums dissapointed in me cause im failing, when they all said I should of been smart, and you can just tell the dissapointment in someones eyes, Its Heart stopping. And Im just sitting there Wanting to get on with my friends, just hoping for everything to turn out but I know it wont, I just Fucking know it wont, Im bottom in my class For every single one, just because of depression. Just cause I cant CONcentrate for no fault of my own. AND THATS Messed up because as much as I want to try for everyone, and succeed to make people proud I cant. And i'm going to drop out of college. And Im going to get a terrible job, because Im not Serious enough to maintain a job I just make a joke out of everything. AND i lie to cover everything up.... because I dont want to look bad infront of everyone. See I've got to commit suicide. I've fucking got to..I cant face this pressure. I'm not trying to make my problems seem the hugest ever, this is more proving to myself, that im not crazy, Everything around me has made the best it can, but because I became depressed. Fuck depression, fuck life, Fuck the rules you have to go through to become the high and mighty in society, I fucking want to live in a house, with friends, having fun, I just need to die so bad... why the fuck does god do this shit.